The final hour is fast approaching for me, but I guess I don't really have any regrets. I should really feel happiness, but can't help the way I really do feel.
You could say that I've lead a life that had it's ups and downs, of privilege and poverty and of companionship and loneliness.
As of late, I suspect that I've been living on borrowed time that didn't really belong to me and should have been returned a while ago. I can't say that I've cheated death or made a deal, but it seems I'm already past my date of expiration.
There was a time when I felt like I was being watched over, but now... I think they just gave up because it seems that I was always in need of help.
I do have to say that I've been privileged to experience the taste of caviar, fine wines and spirits. The warmth and love of a woman, fine meals and the finest confections that life had to offer.
I've had the privilege and honor of traveling to my ancestral homeland, the exotic beauty of the outer Hawaiian Islands and the new and exciting sights some of the mainland states had to offer.
I've observed history in the making, from the return of Apollo 13 splashdown in the Pacific Ocean to the tragedy of 9/11 and the fatal accident with the space shuttle Columbia and finally the end of a terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden, with everything else in-between.
I had the opportunity to listen to all kinds of great music and how it has changed through the years, seen great concerts and met all kinds of people, both famous and not.
There were things in my life that I am extremely proud of and there are things that I am not. However there seems to be a saying I once heard that I feel relates to my life - To be born in the shadows, you die in the shadows...
You may ask, “What is this all about?” Well, it started in July of 2009, when I lost my job and due to some things in my background, it has made it impossible for me to find a job. I have the experience and the knowledge, but it doesn’t matter to them. Since then, my unemployment has run out and since that day, I’ve been sending out numerous resume’s, either getting very few responses or no responses at all and without any income, I’ve since sold just about all my possessions to pay my bills.
The only thing left to sell is my computer, the school laptop and my phone. My computer currently is the only other thing that is keeping me together, if I didn’t have a TV tuner in it, I wouldn’t know what else to do… but it seems that may have to be sold in order to keep my apartment… and considering the vultures out there, I wouldn’t get much for it because they want “a bargain”.
I’ll post it anyway to see what kinds of offers they’ll make… It's that or get rid of everything and just be homeless... In April of 2010, there was an article about a woman that committed suicide after not being able to find a job and sending out about 200 resumes, she was very intelligent and very skilled, you can read the article here
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
If there is, I can't see it. After selling my TV and only getting a third of what I was expecting and a quarter of what I paid for, I'm running out of money again and still don't have enough to pay my rent or other bills.
I still don't have a job and 2 weeks ago sold my prized camera to try and pay some bills and get gas for my truck so that I can go on a job search. Just today, I only filled the tank with 20 dollars, which may not last long... I still have school to get to.
I"ve tried adding a donation button here and on my website but it's understandable that there are other people out there looking for moneytary assistance, I just wished that those that could, would donate, help the economy like the oil companies, they profit big time and those that need the money, have none.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Learning more about HTML
Went back to school to get some industry certificates and one of the classes that I'm currently in is Web design.
I've been learning more about HTML so if you notice a change in this blog's appearance and my personal web page, its because I've been using what I've learned in class.
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Finally...
They finally got Bin Laden and I'm glad it's finally done. Now the U.S. can focus on important domestic issues. I feel somewhat hopeful that things will finally start to get better, for the country and for me.
I just wish it would happen soon within the next 3 days but I should keep other plans just in case...
Friday, April 29, 2011
This is not going to end well...
I thought I was finally going to get a job after this long hiatus, I was finally going to find a job only to be told there is a hiring freeze... I had filled out all the forms and had also signed up for a training class.
I've just about sold everything of worth and considering selling my computer which I need and hand built myself and may have to consider selling my school issued netbook and my phone. If I do this, I'm just going to give up.
I'm tired of fighting, tired of trying to survive, tired of just looking only to have people being so prejudice.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hello, been a while...
Not sure how much I can take this, been unemployed for a while and now it's over. Just about sold everything to pay my bills and it's still not enough.
I've sent out so many resumes and have gotten very few responses. I guess I'm truely alone and about to lose everything and my self esteem and dignity.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Been so long since I've been back home...
I have been living here, on the mainland, Minnesota, since April of 1995.
There has been so many things that I have done, so many things that I have seen and still there are so many things yet to be. I have met so many people and within the past several years have only come to realize what a protected life I have lived before moving here.
There are some people that are open minded and there are some people that appear to be open minded and the very few are are truly open minded. I know there were several people that were afraid that I was going to take over their jobs. They were also prejudice...
I don't know where to begin as to what I mean or if I should write an explanation. What I do know is that if there were things that I could change in my life, either before or since then, there would be so many things that I would change. What I won't and will not change is my sense of duty, loyalty and ethics.
Since my first non-paying job when I was 13, I have been told a lot that I acted much more mature for my age and worked hard and this maybe a fault cause when I do work, I work at a 150 percent capacity with a tendency to burn myself out quickly. As for ethics, I believe that a job should be done well and to be knowledgeable in what I do, this I think comes from my ethnic, martial arts and management training background.
The first two are clear and obvious, the third, well... at one time in my work history, I was an assistant manager/management trainee for a high class restaurant. I would like to say to them if I were to ever see them again is... "Thank You".
In the 30 years I have held a job, I have never really known what I've really wanted to do and worked basically in almost every different industry that there is, however within the last 10 years, I have come to realize what I really truly enjoy but am not sure if I would be able to make a career out of it. You see, for the about the last year, I have been unemployed. Not that I don't like it, but it seems that there is nothing available for a person without a "certificate".
I have the skills, I have the experience and I know that I can do the job with little training cause I learn fast. I guess I'll leave it at this and write more later...
つづく ( To be continued... )
There has been so many things that I have done, so many things that I have seen and still there are so many things yet to be. I have met so many people and within the past several years have only come to realize what a protected life I have lived before moving here.
There are some people that are open minded and there are some people that appear to be open minded and the very few are are truly open minded. I know there were several people that were afraid that I was going to take over their jobs. They were also prejudice...
I don't know where to begin as to what I mean or if I should write an explanation. What I do know is that if there were things that I could change in my life, either before or since then, there would be so many things that I would change. What I won't and will not change is my sense of duty, loyalty and ethics.
Since my first non-paying job when I was 13, I have been told a lot that I acted much more mature for my age and worked hard and this maybe a fault cause when I do work, I work at a 150 percent capacity with a tendency to burn myself out quickly. As for ethics, I believe that a job should be done well and to be knowledgeable in what I do, this I think comes from my ethnic, martial arts and management training background.
The first two are clear and obvious, the third, well... at one time in my work history, I was an assistant manager/management trainee for a high class restaurant. I would like to say to them if I were to ever see them again is... "Thank You".
In the 30 years I have held a job, I have never really known what I've really wanted to do and worked basically in almost every different industry that there is, however within the last 10 years, I have come to realize what I really truly enjoy but am not sure if I would be able to make a career out of it. You see, for the about the last year, I have been unemployed. Not that I don't like it, but it seems that there is nothing available for a person without a "certificate".
I have the skills, I have the experience and I know that I can do the job with little training cause I learn fast. I guess I'll leave it at this and write more later...
つづく ( To be continued... )
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
It's Probably Me
by Sting, Michael Kamen and Eric Clapton
If the night turned cold and the stars looked down
And you hug yourself on the cold cold ground.
You wake the morning in a stranger's coat,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
My only friend, who could it be?
It's hard to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
When your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
And you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal,
You search the city for your only friend,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free.
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show.
Some would say I should let you go your way,
You'll only make me cry.
But if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
When the world's gone crazy and it makes no sense
And there's only one voice that comes to your defense.
The jury's out and your eyes search the room
And one friendly face is all you need to see.
And if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me...
つづく ( To be continued... )
If the night turned cold and the stars looked down
And you hug yourself on the cold cold ground.
You wake the morning in a stranger's coat,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
My only friend, who could it be?
It's hard to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
When your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
And you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal,
You search the city for your only friend,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free.
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show.
Some would say I should let you go your way,
You'll only make me cry.
But if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
When the world's gone crazy and it makes no sense
And there's only one voice that comes to your defense.
The jury's out and your eyes search the room
And one friendly face is all you need to see.
And if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me...
つづく ( To be continued... )
Thursday, March 05, 2009
A little information on the accused killer of Asa Yamashita...
The person that was accused of the stabbing death of Asa Yamashita has a known history of Mental illness there in Hawaii and California.
Article from the Honolulu Star Bulletin:
Teacher's alleged killer has long police record
By Rosemarie Bernardo
POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Mar 05, 2009
A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.
An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.
Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.
According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.
Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.
Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."
While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.
Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.
Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."
Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.
Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.
On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.
Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.
Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.
A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.
An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.
Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.
According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.
Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.
Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."
While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.
Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.
Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."
Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.
Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.
On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.
Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.
Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.
Now, this person should have been in the care of a Mental Health facility or at least monitored on the regular basis with medication for his mental health being subscribed... I have lived with and worked at a facility that dealt with such people. I do feel for them and that I know they can't help unless helped
The issue is the system failed. Those people who were part of the system didn't treat this individual as that, an individual with unique issues. People cannot be lumped into a group, each person must be treated on a case by case basis.
The other issue is that law enforcement needs additional training in mental health issues, what used to work for training before doesn't work for today's society. In the old days, a police officer just needed to enforce the laws, now they, depending on the department, get training or require knowledge of being a First Responder. They should now need basic training as a counselor and basic Mental Health training so that they can identify and prevent these types of issues.
If this person was recognized as a person with mental health issues in the beginning, this would have never happened as well as other incidents within this past year in Hawaii as well as other states.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Article from the Honolulu Star Bulletin:
Teacher's alleged killer has long police record
By Rosemarie Bernardo
POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Mar 05, 2009
A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.
An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.
Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.
According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.
Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.
Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."
While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.
Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.
Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."
Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.
Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.
On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.
Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.
Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.
A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.
An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.
Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.
According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.
Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.
Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."
While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.
Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.
Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."
Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.
Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.
On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.
Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.
Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.
Now, this person should have been in the care of a Mental Health facility or at least monitored on the regular basis with medication for his mental health being subscribed... I have lived with and worked at a facility that dealt with such people. I do feel for them and that I know they can't help unless helped
The issue is the system failed. Those people who were part of the system didn't treat this individual as that, an individual with unique issues. People cannot be lumped into a group, each person must be treated on a case by case basis.
The other issue is that law enforcement needs additional training in mental health issues, what used to work for training before doesn't work for today's society. In the old days, a police officer just needed to enforce the laws, now they, depending on the department, get training or require knowledge of being a First Responder. They should now need basic training as a counselor and basic Mental Health training so that they can identify and prevent these types of issues.
If this person was recognized as a person with mental health issues in the beginning, this would have never happened as well as other incidents within this past year in Hawaii as well as other states.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Asa Yamashita
Oh where do I begin... I knew her when I attended Intermediate school. We played in band together, she played the Oboe and I played Clarinet and because of my position in the Clarinet section, I sat next to her. At that time, her last name was Shimabukuro.
One of my favorite memories of her was during a concert at the Farrington High School Auditorium, just before and during the performance, I was trying to make her laugh cause she was nervous, I think she had a solo in one of the pieces we performed that night. Apparently it worked cause she wasn't as nervous as she was in the beginning.
At the end of the night, back at the band room, she came up to me and kissed me on the cheek, thanking me for helping her overcome her nervousness.
I can still see her smiling face when we were in that band room, making fun of her and her mock anger at us and Mr. Fukaya whenever we teased her. I was at S.B. Dole for only 2 years, in the 9th grade I had changed schools and went to Aiea. I lost touch with her and other people. After graduating from High School, I've thought of those people from time to time and when I moved from Hawaii to Minnesota, every so often I would think of Asa.
I tried to locate her every so often, hoping she was on either MySpace or Facebook but never could find her on there so that I could get back in touch.
This past Monday, March 2nd when I brought up the Honolulu Star Bulletin's web page and saw the article of a 43 year old woman who was stabbed. As I read the article, I saw the name Asa and that had me wondering if it was the same person. I searched to see if there was a picture of that person. When I did find the picture, I was utterly and completly shocked.
Since finding out it was her, I've been asking myself if she'd still be with us if I've been back in Hawaii, what could've I done, the loss, her family, her husband, her daughters, her smiling happy person that she was.
It'll take me some time to get over this. I'll always remember her and the loss we've all suffered on that day. I know your watching over all of us with your happy smile, always with us in our hearts, spirit and minds.
つづく ( To be continued... )
One of my favorite memories of her was during a concert at the Farrington High School Auditorium, just before and during the performance, I was trying to make her laugh cause she was nervous, I think she had a solo in one of the pieces we performed that night. Apparently it worked cause she wasn't as nervous as she was in the beginning.
At the end of the night, back at the band room, she came up to me and kissed me on the cheek, thanking me for helping her overcome her nervousness.
I can still see her smiling face when we were in that band room, making fun of her and her mock anger at us and Mr. Fukaya whenever we teased her. I was at S.B. Dole for only 2 years, in the 9th grade I had changed schools and went to Aiea. I lost touch with her and other people. After graduating from High School, I've thought of those people from time to time and when I moved from Hawaii to Minnesota, every so often I would think of Asa.
I tried to locate her every so often, hoping she was on either MySpace or Facebook but never could find her on there so that I could get back in touch.
This past Monday, March 2nd when I brought up the Honolulu Star Bulletin's web page and saw the article of a 43 year old woman who was stabbed. As I read the article, I saw the name Asa and that had me wondering if it was the same person. I searched to see if there was a picture of that person. When I did find the picture, I was utterly and completly shocked.
Since finding out it was her, I've been asking myself if she'd still be with us if I've been back in Hawaii, what could've I done, the loss, her family, her husband, her daughters, her smiling happy person that she was.
It'll take me some time to get over this. I'll always remember her and the loss we've all suffered on that day. I know your watching over all of us with your happy smile, always with us in our hearts, spirit and minds.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I don't care no more...
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, how hard I work, how thorough I am, no matter how much experience I have it doesn't matter anymore.
つづく ( To be continued... )
つづく ( To be continued... )
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Can't escape the past...
On my way home tonight while on the bus, some drunk got on the bus... After a while in his drunken stupor, he slid to the floor of the bus. Now remember, this is Winter so the floor is all wet with melted snow and whatever else like salt...
The bus driver, whom I got to know pretty well, tried to keep an eye on him while she was trying to drive safely. At one point, while he was sitting on the wet floor I asked her to call for a detox pickup. She then turned to him while she was stopped at a bus stop and told the guy to either sit on the chair or get off the bus... The guy was very incoherent and I don't think he understood anything that was being told to him.
After the 3rd or 4th time she told him, he started to butt scoot towards the exit, after about only moving an inch, another passenger came to the front to "assist" this guy out the door and onto the bus stop bench. I finally got up and got on the other side of the guy and held him in an escort hold and walked him off the bus with the other passenger. We got him to the bench and got back on the bus. My friend then called her dispatch to have a squad dispatched for a welfare check on the guy at the bus stop just in case and especially since it was about 25 degrees outside.
At first I didn't want to touch the guy let alone have him side next to me, firstly cause he was so drunk, I'm sure a PBT would've shown the guy was about a 3 or even a 4. secondly, he was drooling like a leaky faucet, thirdly he stunk to high hell... In the end I had to touch him to help another person escort him off the bus. I was very grateful that I always carry hand sanitizer with me but didn't have my fluid blocking leather gloves with me (which I'm going to carry all the time now...)
So, after reading all this, your wondering, what does this have to do with the title and he sounds like a cop. Well... I'm not a cop, never was, but I did work for a police department at a detox center so I've seen this type of people all the time and was trained to handle them. Then again, you or I could say that in a way I was a cop, I was in the police reserves and had most training that Police officers get. Now, I'm just a regular white collar worker in an office or IT department for a major business and don't want to get back to doing that stuff (although, at times I do miss it) but it seems that at times I can't escape it or forget about it when stuff like this happens...
つづく ( To be continued... )
The bus driver, whom I got to know pretty well, tried to keep an eye on him while she was trying to drive safely. At one point, while he was sitting on the wet floor I asked her to call for a detox pickup. She then turned to him while she was stopped at a bus stop and told the guy to either sit on the chair or get off the bus... The guy was very incoherent and I don't think he understood anything that was being told to him.
After the 3rd or 4th time she told him, he started to butt scoot towards the exit, after about only moving an inch, another passenger came to the front to "assist" this guy out the door and onto the bus stop bench. I finally got up and got on the other side of the guy and held him in an escort hold and walked him off the bus with the other passenger. We got him to the bench and got back on the bus. My friend then called her dispatch to have a squad dispatched for a welfare check on the guy at the bus stop just in case and especially since it was about 25 degrees outside.
At first I didn't want to touch the guy let alone have him side next to me, firstly cause he was so drunk, I'm sure a PBT would've shown the guy was about a 3 or even a 4. secondly, he was drooling like a leaky faucet, thirdly he stunk to high hell... In the end I had to touch him to help another person escort him off the bus. I was very grateful that I always carry hand sanitizer with me but didn't have my fluid blocking leather gloves with me (which I'm going to carry all the time now...)
So, after reading all this, your wondering, what does this have to do with the title and he sounds like a cop. Well... I'm not a cop, never was, but I did work for a police department at a detox center so I've seen this type of people all the time and was trained to handle them. Then again, you or I could say that in a way I was a cop, I was in the police reserves and had most training that Police officers get. Now, I'm just a regular white collar worker in an office or IT department for a major business and don't want to get back to doing that stuff (although, at times I do miss it) but it seems that at times I can't escape it or forget about it when stuff like this happens...
つづく ( To be continued... )
Friday, January 02, 2009
New Year, New Camera!!
Picked up a Nikon D80 with a 18-55 Nikkor lens. The price was pretty good so it basically made it an easy decision...
Hopefully I'll have some pictures up taken with the D80 and eventually I also want to pick up a D90 and keep the D80 as a backup.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Hopefully I'll have some pictures up taken with the D80 and eventually I also want to pick up a D90 and keep the D80 as a backup.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Monday, December 29, 2008
The sad state of Music and the lack of lyric writing skills...
I've been meaning to write about his for a while, it's the really sad and desperate state of music now days.
The other week I was listening to the radio on my way home and a song the radio station was playing was from a group that apparently had no skills what so ever. They resorted to using nursery rhymes... Actually, I found the artist and the song...
It's by Korn and the song is called Shoots and Ladders... Apparently Korn has run out of ideas for songs and had to resort to using Nursery rhymes... I can understand doing covers but to start using nursery rhymes... that's pretty sad.
つづく ( To be continued... )
The other week I was listening to the radio on my way home and a song the radio station was playing was from a group that apparently had no skills what so ever. They resorted to using nursery rhymes... Actually, I found the artist and the song...
It's by Korn and the song is called Shoots and Ladders... Apparently Korn has run out of ideas for songs and had to resort to using Nursery rhymes... I can understand doing covers but to start using nursery rhymes... that's pretty sad.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Target Store - Downtown Minneapolis
I went in there to buy a sandwich, which normally they have a pretty good Roast Beef one. After picking one up and walking up to the counter, where a clerk was ringing up another customer, another customer walked up besides me and in front of me. A second clerk walked up to the counter and asked her what she wanted to order.
That just pissed me off, I was there first, I was holding the sandwich in front of me at chest height and at least 2 inches from my chest, ready to pay! Needless to say, I walked away from the counter, threw the sandwich back into the cooler and I mean purposely tossed it back and walked out.
At this time, I'm not going to buy anything from their food court ever again. That was the second time I've received bad service, the first time was when I got back from Colorado and hadn't eaten, so I decided to stop off and pick up something to eat. I picked up a mini Pizza Hut pizza from the warmer and was looking at what I had grabbed and the clerk there yelled "You touch it, you buy it, don't put it back!" That was at the Coon Rapids Target store.
Needless to say, I've never bought any ready made/ready to eat foods from there anymore and now the same for the downtown Minneapolis store. I'm beginning to see a pattern there, low pay, low I.Q. = Bad Service. The thing is, they don't realize people won't return if they have a bad experience and eventually word will get out about the service and eventually they'll be out of a job cause of no business.
つづく ( To be continued... )
That just pissed me off, I was there first, I was holding the sandwich in front of me at chest height and at least 2 inches from my chest, ready to pay! Needless to say, I walked away from the counter, threw the sandwich back into the cooler and I mean purposely tossed it back and walked out.
At this time, I'm not going to buy anything from their food court ever again. That was the second time I've received bad service, the first time was when I got back from Colorado and hadn't eaten, so I decided to stop off and pick up something to eat. I picked up a mini Pizza Hut pizza from the warmer and was looking at what I had grabbed and the clerk there yelled "You touch it, you buy it, don't put it back!" That was at the Coon Rapids Target store.
Needless to say, I've never bought any ready made/ready to eat foods from there anymore and now the same for the downtown Minneapolis store. I'm beginning to see a pattern there, low pay, low I.Q. = Bad Service. The thing is, they don't realize people won't return if they have a bad experience and eventually word will get out about the service and eventually they'll be out of a job cause of no business.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Sunday, November 30, 2008
World of Warcraft is just the computer version of crack...
I broke down and downloaded the 10 day free trial version of World of Warcraft yesterday, got it loaded and setup, now I've played at least 14 or more hours... On their website, they have a tag of "It's not a game, it's a World" it should be "It's not a game, it's an obsession".
Last time I played a MMO (Massive Multiplayer Online), it was Ultima online. The part that really turned me off to such games was that, like Everquest, you have to pay a monthly or yearly fee to play online. With Battlefield 2, Command & Conquer, Starcraft and World of Warcraft, you pay of the software and that's it, no monthly fees.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Last time I played a MMO (Massive Multiplayer Online), it was Ultima online. The part that really turned me off to such games was that, like Everquest, you have to pay a monthly or yearly fee to play online. With Battlefield 2, Command & Conquer, Starcraft and World of Warcraft, you pay of the software and that's it, no monthly fees.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Blackberry 9000 Bold
I had intended to go into town an hour early before I had to start work but ended up over sleeping... I guess I was way excited knowing I was going to get this. I ended up catching the bus at the usual time and getting to my stop about 5 minutes early so I still had time to get money out to buy this.
The clerk at the store wanted to explain some of the features and how to use them but because I was short on time, I just said I'll read the manual. I was able to get my sim card out of my old phone and ended up putting it in upside down. The clerk double check and switched it around. I was good to go!
While at work, in between calls, I browsed the features and looked through the manual to get things setup. I ended up swapping the sim card several times to get my contacts from the Razor to the Bold. I also had to swap the flash memory several times to get my old files over to the new phone...
I'm still learning how to use it and have already found some really handy free apps, especially a free flickr app. Since the Bold has GPS built in, it'll also Geo tag my pictures I take with it. It has a 2.0 mp camera so that'll make it handy when I can't get to my regular camera quickly.
Also for now, I'm keeping the display film till I can get a protective film made specifically for the Bold. I'm also looking at a case by Armor Case, which, if I do get it, I won't need to get the screen protector.
つづく ( To be continued... )
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Signs - Doesn't anyone read them anymore?
I've noticed lately that people don't read signs anymore... I've watched people go around a sign that said "Sidewalk Closed, please use the other side". There is a reason that the sidewalk is closed, there's construction going on! So these people prefer to risk their own safety for convenience. At the same time, I've watched people park their vehicles in a no parking/loading zone cause they don't want to pay for parking. What they'll do is turn on their emergency lights and go into the bank to do their deposits or withdrawals... If the parking enforcement people come around they get a ticket and then they'll complain and or even argue for getting one... just take it and pay the fine, it's their fault in the first place for being lazy.
While riding the bus, people are notorious for not reading... on the back door, there is a sign that says watch and wait for the green light, then open the door. They'll get to the bottom step, wait for the bus to stop, then try to push the door open before the light comes on. On some of the buses, there is a sign that says push on the yellow areas... they'll push on the handles then yell "BACK DOOR". Yup, it's a door and yup it's at the back... and yes, everyone on the bus knows what it is...
I've also noticed that people in downtown don't believe in using crosswalks. They would rather cross in the middle of a busy street, stopping traffic or nearly getting hit than to walk an extra 20 or 30 feet than to be safe. Yeah... I'm sure everyone is superman/superwoman and when that 15 ton truck hits them, it's gonna bounce right off of them. I've seen 18 wheelers with a red front end and it wasn't from paint while driving on the interstate... or huge red circles on the highway, that was from hitting a deer, didn't scratch the paint, but couldn't find any pieces of the deer either... So if they can do that to a deer, imagine what a human being would look like...
I'm getting anxious about this Friday, I'll be getting a Blackberry to replace my Razor. Also, finally finished Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. Towards the end, it got really difficult cause the enemy kept sending wave after wave of units that almost didn't stop. By the time I finished, it was about 4 in the morning. Now to get back to Battlefield 2....
つづく ( To be continued... )
While riding the bus, people are notorious for not reading... on the back door, there is a sign that says watch and wait for the green light, then open the door. They'll get to the bottom step, wait for the bus to stop, then try to push the door open before the light comes on. On some of the buses, there is a sign that says push on the yellow areas... they'll push on the handles then yell "BACK DOOR". Yup, it's a door and yup it's at the back... and yes, everyone on the bus knows what it is...
I've also noticed that people in downtown don't believe in using crosswalks. They would rather cross in the middle of a busy street, stopping traffic or nearly getting hit than to walk an extra 20 or 30 feet than to be safe. Yeah... I'm sure everyone is superman/superwoman and when that 15 ton truck hits them, it's gonna bounce right off of them. I've seen 18 wheelers with a red front end and it wasn't from paint while driving on the interstate... or huge red circles on the highway, that was from hitting a deer, didn't scratch the paint, but couldn't find any pieces of the deer either... So if they can do that to a deer, imagine what a human being would look like...
I'm getting anxious about this Friday, I'll be getting a Blackberry to replace my Razor. Also, finally finished Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. Towards the end, it got really difficult cause the enemy kept sending wave after wave of units that almost didn't stop. By the time I finished, it was about 4 in the morning. Now to get back to Battlefield 2....
つづく ( To be continued... )
Monday, November 10, 2008
New Game, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3
Picked up C&C - RA3 this past Friday. Installed it and played a couple of tutorials and dove in on Saturday. On Sunday night, I completed the Soviet campaign on a medium setting. Now it's on to the American campaign and after, the JAPANESE!!
I'm hoping that next week, I'll be getting a new phone. I'm planning on getting the Blackberry Bold (9000). My current phone, a Motorola Razor V3xx, unfortunately, I've dropped it at least 4 times by accident, well actually, I didn't pay attention and dropped it. So the call and signal quality is not as good as it was before.
I also hope to get a Xbox 360...
つづく ( To be continued... )
LLRV CLZM MMUN MYGF QEWD WETT KLSB VMM
GYMK YZJG PFIY LHBD ZMVR AVTS UGEV GXXV GKGZ WWQK YFWS DHXJ DXFD CHXX CXIB USEY PHCK FGBN IQAF CCDE YBHV AKRQ PLCD ECNM PMTT YVEE ITGR RFIN OGQQ NHSJ BPKP HTFI ZNTC DLXA NLSJ UIQJ MPYD OQRM XRZU CUMY AXMU UOET DLWB YYMY WZBF HDSC PYHK QPKD ILUS EMHY VXIT XWWL JBMM YQJL VUSZ LXEN HQLG GEDI IOBY SLYE KRRT RCDK PRSK HZRM VXI
WOGI DMIG CHHF WNLF TOSG PEBL FLOF KBKM CCVV DOHJ PTCY JJHF HXAK CBGN BNHW MSQQ TLXZ XBCH UIIO LSSK JCNB DKIV YHTD YWWG TCXZ DSMZ JPHG VZNJ MQDW LTAL FQBF XLUG WBTQ HGOO QERL OEFZ NAQH PIQJ ORQP MNMW CAAQ GGQL OJIN NSUV BNXE BWVF JHJV NIX
GBKK TMRO ZAYV JZWV LWHB URSD UXVT UNXL VXFP TERK TDFD ZNON ZURO TNQT DNQB DBEK NIIV LXGP XRUM MOLH LOTC AQWN DAWZ XKCQ OFYA RBQB KEXF LEHV AKYZ MRKB PMCD DILF BLXE FWJM QGNW JTHO YQNF NEXA FXTG FKOM VVBG ODTJ MXHG PXJD FFYR XDUS BZTJ TNJI DYQB SWRH BNES UZVF BNND XYOV JWCW VCLL ABBX HFQP YBVE PTMQ OPOI MYMV KSBO WIKN XLBS MQHI DXZS BMHY VWMV GWWL AUEV FCST GYZM IWUK IKMG IIQL AGWL TMOH AIHR
JEML DZPL PZTO IXVK ISAI ERDU NFZY LJQY AMAK PQDX PCTE SVWR SCQJ EPHO BSXJ UEBN LIMR KAIT ERST KEUA WUJX YBYH FCJN IFHU YWBA XYGJ ZHVE MGWT CWFI XNYH AGFT GRTO SABR BLIS XGOV WRAN NUZT UPBN NJUA OSDO STLY YQRH LJRW ICKT CMCD INXY ZHRD BOJX LYQH YYIH SKYT ZQJQ GAVR SKEW FRFA KKNA MELO FJDL MXEL UNBZ EDIM INVR GGNF PECS HWHZ PKBI GGMC FYLJ GPRW WGFR VPDN HYOM RJMM OVJO BXSB VUEQ FXUW LBV
つづく ( To be continued... )
I'm hoping that next week, I'll be getting a new phone. I'm planning on getting the Blackberry Bold (9000). My current phone, a Motorola Razor V3xx, unfortunately, I've dropped it at least 4 times by accident, well actually, I didn't pay attention and dropped it. So the call and signal quality is not as good as it was before.
I also hope to get a Xbox 360...
つづく ( To be continued... )
LLRV CLZM MMUN MYGF QEWD WETT KLSB VMM
GYMK YZJG PFIY LHBD ZMVR AVTS UGEV GXXV GKGZ WWQK YFWS DHXJ DXFD CHXX CXIB USEY PHCK FGBN IQAF CCDE YBHV AKRQ PLCD ECNM PMTT YVEE ITGR RFIN OGQQ NHSJ BPKP HTFI ZNTC DLXA NLSJ UIQJ MPYD OQRM XRZU CUMY AXMU UOET DLWB YYMY WZBF HDSC PYHK QPKD ILUS EMHY VXIT XWWL JBMM YQJL VUSZ LXEN HQLG GEDI IOBY SLYE KRRT RCDK PRSK HZRM VXI
WOGI DMIG CHHF WNLF TOSG PEBL FLOF KBKM CCVV DOHJ PTCY JJHF HXAK CBGN BNHW MSQQ TLXZ XBCH UIIO LSSK JCNB DKIV YHTD YWWG TCXZ DSMZ JPHG VZNJ MQDW LTAL FQBF XLUG WBTQ HGOO QERL OEFZ NAQH PIQJ ORQP MNMW CAAQ GGQL OJIN NSUV BNXE BWVF JHJV NIX
GBKK TMRO ZAYV JZWV LWHB URSD UXVT UNXL VXFP TERK TDFD ZNON ZURO TNQT DNQB DBEK NIIV LXGP XRUM MOLH LOTC AQWN DAWZ XKCQ OFYA RBQB KEXF LEHV AKYZ MRKB PMCD DILF BLXE FWJM QGNW JTHO YQNF NEXA FXTG FKOM VVBG ODTJ MXHG PXJD FFYR XDUS BZTJ TNJI DYQB SWRH BNES UZVF BNND XYOV JWCW VCLL ABBX HFQP YBVE PTMQ OPOI MYMV KSBO WIKN XLBS MQHI DXZS BMHY VWMV GWWL AUEV FCST GYZM IWUK IKMG IIQL AGWL TMOH AIHR
JEML DZPL PZTO IXVK ISAI ERDU NFZY LJQY AMAK PQDX PCTE SVWR SCQJ EPHO BSXJ UEBN LIMR KAIT ERST KEUA WUJX YBYH FCJN IFHU YWBA XYGJ ZHVE MGWT CWFI XNYH AGFT GRTO SABR BLIS XGOV WRAN NUZT UPBN NJUA OSDO STLY YQRH LJRW ICKT CMCD INXY ZHRD BOJX LYQH YYIH SKYT ZQJQ GAVR SKEW FRFA KKNA MELO FJDL MXEL UNBZ EDIM INVR GGNF PECS HWHZ PKBI GGMC FYLJ GPRW WGFR VPDN HYOM RJMM OVJO BXSB VUEQ FXUW LBV
つづく ( To be continued... )
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