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Monday, January 30, 2006

A day of lost thoughts

A day of lost thoughts

Today was a day that I didn’t want to think of anything, but it seems that my thoughts keep drifting to the past. I keep hoping that I could go back in the past and make changes to my life. There are a lot of things that I would change if I could. I still wonder if moving here would be one of those things that I would change.

One thing that I would like to change is my past relationships. I should’ve stayed married. I wonder if I did, would I be like the way that I am now? I don’t think I would. I know that a lot of things would be different, I wouldn’t have moved around a lot. I would’ve gone into the career that I want to a lot sooner…

I can’t think of anything else to write here, I should have more in the next entry.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

AVE MARIA (Ellens Gesang III)

To hear the song as sung by the Vienna Boys Choir, right click here and select save as.

Franz Peter Schubert (1797 - 1828)
Sir Walter Scott. (1771-1832).

Ave Maria!
Jungfrau mild,
Erhöre einer Jungfrau Flehen,
Aus diesem Felsen starr und wild
Soll mein Gebet zu dir hin wehen,
Zu dir hin wehen.
Wir schlafen sicher bis zum Morgen,
Ob Menschen noch so grausam sind.
O Jungfrau, sieh der Jungfrau Sorgen,
O Mutter, hör ein bittend Kind!
Ave Maria!

Ave Maria
Unbefleckt!
Wenn wir auf diesen Fels hinsinken
Zum Schlaf, und uns dein Schutz bedeckt,
Wird weich der harte Fels uns dünken
Du lächelst, Rosendüfte wehen
In dieser dumpfen Felsenkluft.
O Mutter, höre Kindes Flehen,
O Jungfrau, eine Jungfrau ruft!
Ave Maria!

Ave Maria!
Reine Magd!
Der Erde und der Luft Dämonen,
Von deines Auges Huld verjagt,
Sie können hier nicht bei uns wohnen
Wir woll'n uns still dem Schicksal beugen,
Da uns dein heilger Trost anweht;
Der Jungfrau wolle hold dich neigen,
Dem Kind, das für den Vater fleht!
Ave Maria!


AVE MARIA (Ellen's Song) - Sir Walter Scott

Ave, Maria! Maiden mild!
Oh listen to a maiden's prayer;
For thou canst hear tho' from the wild,
And Thou canst save amid despair.
Safe may we sleep beneath thy care
Tho' banish'd outcast and reviled,
Oh, Maiden hear a maidens prayer.
Oh Mother, hear a suppliant child!
Ave Maria!

Ave, Maria! Undefiled!
The flinty couch we now must share,
Shall seem with down of eider piled
If Thy, if Thy protection hover there.
The murky cavern's heavy air
Shall breath of Balm if thou hast smiled;
Then, Maiden hear a maiden's prayer.
Oh Mother, hear a suppliant child!
Ave Maria!

Ave, Maria! Stainless-styled!
Foul demons of the earth and air,
From this their wonted haunt exiled,
Shall flee, shall flee before thy presence fair.
We bow us to our lot of care
Beneath Thy guidance reconciled,
Hear for a maid a maiden's prayer;
And for a father bear a child!
Ave Maria!

Friday, January 27, 2006

Slip of the Tongue...

Well, I don’t know if it was because I unconsciously or purposely did it but I had expressed my thought to Ms. Wannabe today. A message that was intended for the Man in Black had been sent to Ms. Wannabe and at first she didn’t understand it, but eventually she knew what it was all about. I had stated that if she gets the promotion by some acts of the gods, I would request an immediate transfer to another department. Well, Ms. Wannabe immediately replied, “huh?” and I replied back that I was quoting a line from Hercules the television show.

From what I heard, she walked over to another person and asked them about it (complained, more likely) and in his usual self, whom I shall refer to from this point forth, as Dr. Giggles; put it off as nothing. I’m sure that Ms. Wannabe went along with what Dr. Giggles had told her, that it was nothing and don’t worry about it. I know that I’m not going to worry about it (typical SubZero fashion).

By the way, if you all are wondering as to why I chose SubZero as a handle, I’ll tell you, a long time ago, in another job, when ever something extreme would happen, I wouldn’t show any emotions, basically keeping my cool. So a friend, who used to be my supervisor, would say that I was a cold person, an iceman. Well, when the game Mortal Kombat came out, one of the characters in the game was called SubZero. Well, I liked that handle better than “Iceman”.

Going back to Ms. Wannabe, it’s getting to the point at work where I really don’t care if I hurt her feelings or not, mostly because when everyone else is working as hard as they can, she’s just doing nothing, everyone else doesn’t want to say it to her, but I guess because of my SubZero persona and because of my involvement in law enforcement, it’s just getting to the point where I’m just telling it like it is. I know that I’m not perfect myself, but if I’m going to work hard, I also expect everyone else to do the same, if not then, go somewhere else. I’m the type of person that will put in 110 percent, then towards the end put in 5 – 10 percent more and end up burning myself out. This also comes from having the rank of Sergeant, if I work hard, I expect the officers under me to do the same. Lead by example as taught to me.

Well, I’ll end this here, check back again…

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Soapbox

In a darkened room, except for the single spot of light that illuminates a box. The echoing sounds of footsteps, as if coming from all around you. As the sound of footsteps grows louder, a figure slowly emerges from the darkness. The person appears to be walking towards the light with the box in the middle of it. As the once darkened figure steps into the light and onto the box, it is apparent that the person is a male. He clears his throat and begins to speak…


Ok, in my past entries, I have never talked about the specifics of the company that I work for or the people that I worked with or much about my job. However, it is getting to the point that I am getting so frustrated with a particular person at work. Now, to give you a little bit of background on myself, in the past, I am usually a work-a-holic. Now, when I’m at work, I believe that you work; you’re getting paid to perform a certain function or task. I also believe that if there is down time and it’s slow, then doing nothing is ok, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job or the company. However when it’s busy, then there is certain expectations of what needs to be done. For an example, if your job is to answer phones and try to resolve issues, then that is what a person needs to do and not just avoid answering phones.

Now, there is this person at work, I’ll refer to her as Ms. Wannabe. Ms. Wannabe thinks that she’ll be getting a promotion from her current position and doesn’t think that people notice that she slacks off, especially at the busiest times or makes mistakes. However, what Ms. Wannabe doesn’t realize is that there are people that do take notice. Like today, for example and it was really getting me frustrated and angry because there were calls building up and she was slacking off, trying to look as if she were busy and doing some obscure task that prevented her from being on the phones. It became really apparent that she was “slacking” off when she was socializing and just sticking her nose into business that had nothing to do with her or to what she had made up to keep her busy.

I did a little investigation of my own and found that Ms. Wannabe was off from her phone for a little over 45 minutes, during this time, there were at least 6 calls waiting to be answered and building… Prior to this, while she could’ve taken calls while waiting for another co-worker to return from his break, Ms. Wannabe would wander about the office, after she went on her break, which turned out to be an “extended” break, she would socialize with the vendors to our company in order to kill time till it was the end of her shift.

Now, one of my questions is, “How many people does it take to train a single person at the same time?” Well, apparently, according to Ms. Wannabe, it takes 2 people at the same time to train 1 person. CAN YOU SAY WASTE OF TIME AND RESOURCES?!!!! Ok, so Ms. Wannabe is training in the new employees, but if you train someone the same way that you do the job yourself, making mistakes and in a lazy way, your only going to get a bunch of employees that are ineffective and inefficient, basically making it harder on the others to do their job when their fixing your mistakes.

There are so many examples that I could give, but that would reveal the company that I work for, right now, I can’t do that. It’s just that it’s so frustrating and so maddening that I just had to vent before losing it at work. Other situations at work didn’t make it any easier either... People just don’t read instructions. At my job, the company is switching over employees from one application to another. It’s the same thing, but the way you sign on is slightly different. They send out instructions on how to sign in, instructions that someone with absolutely no computer experience at all can follow, but do they? Nooo…. They call up and say “I need my password reset” or “I think I’m locked out” when it really boils down to that they didn’t read the instructions and just want someone to hold their hand and walk them through the process.

Ok, enough of work, now onto a new issue. Someone in the apartment building keeps disabling the security door, JUST so that their visitors can enter without having to use the call box. This is the 4th time that someone has done this since the rental company fixed the lock. The first 2 times, they pulled the carpet up to prop the door open. The 3rd time, they stuck a quarter in the bolt area (I removed it and scored 25 cents) and tonight, I can’t see what they jammed in there, but the bolt doesn’t extend out of the door. PEOPLE! There is a reason for the security door. First, it prevents those who are not supposed to be in the building from gaining access to the building. Second, it stops solicitors from bothering those who live in the building from bothering those people that want to be left alone. Third, it prevents thefts and burglaries from the apartments and lastly it prevents vandals from destroying property.

Now, granted that I don’t have a lot of valuables and property. However I do have items that certain elements shouldn’t be able to get their hands on, like uniforms and certain equipment. I have seen a lot of criminals and possible criminals hanging around the property, I have seen people selling drugs and if the security door is disabled, then what the heck am I paying the amount of rent for?

Ok, now that I’ve gotten this off my chest, I’ll be seeing the people in the rental office to voice my concerns. I’ll step down from the box now and write more later.

The man steps off the box and starts to walk off into the darkness, the sounds of his footsteps stop, you can hear the sound of a lighter being lighted, from the darkness you can see the faint appearance of his face and hands from the flame of his lighter, a faint orange glow of a cigarette being lit. You can hear him take a drag from the cigarette and see a very faint orange glow, grow slightly brighter as he inhales. The sounds of the footsteps start up again and grow fainter as the man walks away in the darkness.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Work, Work, Work...

As you can tell, been working to get my old journal, before they had blog websites uploaded into this one. If your interested in seeing what my life was like before (About 10 years ago since I first moved to Minnesota), you'll be able to read all about it...

In my opinion, pretty boring stuff...

Anyway, keep checking back, they'll be more entries to help you get to sleep, if your having trouble sleeping...

Till Next time...

Oh, by the way, if you've noticed, no more Moods, when I had my journal on the other site, I felt compelled to select a mood... I guess from now on, you'll either have to guess or I'll just out right say how I'm feeling...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

New and (somewhat) improved...

Mood: Not Sure

Well, I'll be migrating my journal from the old site to this site. Eventually I'll have it all moved here, all 77 entries. As for today, it seemed to have gone by quickly. Especially with 3 people working and didn't seem all that hectic (although the Man in Black may beg to differ). Oh, and if your all wondering who the man in black is, no, its not Johnny Cash, Will Smith or the Undertaker, but a co-worker to whom I used to refer to as "The Dark One". Also, on my cell, I found the perfect song that fits him, Johnny Cash's "Man in Black".

Well, keeping it short. Till Next time...

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Comfortably Numb...

Mood: lazy

As long as I keep to myself, far removed from human interaction on my days off, I feel that I can cope with the rest of the week. It's almost like a movie, if I leave the solitude of my apartment, with every person that I come in contact with, its almost like I can feel their emotions. It's like being able to watch a movie, but unable to change anything, no matter what you say or do. I also believe that if a person wants to, they can make a change on their own, if they want to...

I've been dying for some prime rib for a while, the only way that i'd be able to get some is to either go to a restaurant or cook it myself. The only way that I can cook it myself is if I would have to purchase a huge hunk of prime rib, enough to feed 20 people at 15 to 20 ounces a cut. I would rather not have that much left over... So the other day, theres a place near to my work place that was having a special on Fridays and Saturdays. Well, let me tell you, I got myself a "King" cut of a prime rib dinner for take out and took it back to my desk. It was really good and just the way that I wanted it. Well, after finishing it off, I did my Tim Allen thing... "Meat Good, What other thing in there...(Grunting included)"

Well, short journal entry again. Till next time...

Saturday, January 21, 2006

New Options for a New Year...

Mood: lazy

Well, there are some new Options that are possible for me, the questions that I have to ask is:
How Bad Do You Want To and Can You Do It?
Well, along the lines of my dream jobs, there is an opportunity in the near future, however, I need to clear up some old debts first before I can apply for the job. The FBI is opening a new Computer Forensics Facility in Louisiana and right now the FBI is looking to hire about 70 plus computer technicians.

According to an article that I read, this new facility is about 5000 square feet and will be the a central location for departments needing to investigate computer crimes and related...

Also Just a reminder, Janurary 29th turns to the Year of the Dog and not just any dog, but the Fire Dog. So to all my Chinese friends out there if I don't seem before then, KUNG HEE FAT CHOY! According to some of the information that I've looked up, I should have a very good year because my sign is the Year of the Fire Horse. So I'm really looking forward to this year as being a very good year for me...

Oh yeah, I've recently picked up a new game, but have already finished it, Warhammer 40,000. So if you occasionally come across me saying "Ork, Ork, Ork, Ork", you'll know why, especially if you've played the game. I've also been able to get my Battlefield 2 game up and running, turns out my Video card had too much dust between the GPU and fan, once I blew that out, the computer doesn't reboot (I should've known that was the case... oh well...).

About a month ago, I "upgraded" my cell phone, I used to have a Motorola V180, it was nice but the signal strength was a bit lacking. So I did a little research and found that the Motorola RAZR had the best signal strength and picked one up. My friend noticed better sound quality when I called him and could also hear the background noise clearly too.

Well anyway... just thought I'd leave a note, so in keeping... till next time.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Post

Mood: not sure

Post, Post, post, pOst, poSt, posT...

New year, time to start things anew. Been a while, been busy, been lazy, been.