The final hour is fast approaching for me, but I guess I don't really have any regrets. I should really feel happiness, but can't help the way I really do feel.
You could say that I've lead a life that had it's ups and downs, of privilege and poverty and of companionship and loneliness.
As of late, I suspect that I've been living on borrowed time that didn't really belong to me and should have been returned a while ago. I can't say that I've cheated death or made a deal, but it seems I'm already past my date of expiration.
There was a time when I felt like I was being watched over, but now... I think they just gave up because it seems that I was always in need of help.
I do have to say that I've been privileged to experience the taste of caviar, fine wines and spirits. The warmth and love of a woman, fine meals and the finest confections that life had to offer.
I've had the privilege and honor of traveling to my ancestral homeland, the exotic beauty of the outer Hawaiian Islands and the new and exciting sights some of the mainland states had to offer.
I've observed history in the making, from the return of Apollo 13 splashdown in the Pacific Ocean to the tragedy of 9/11 and the fatal accident with the space shuttle Columbia and finally the end of a terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden, with everything else in-between.
I had the opportunity to listen to all kinds of great music and how it has changed through the years, seen great concerts and met all kinds of people, both famous and not.
There were things in my life that I am extremely proud of and there are things that I am not. However there seems to be a saying I once heard that I feel relates to my life - To be born in the shadows, you die in the shadows...
You may ask, “What is this all about?” Well, it started in July of 2009, when I lost my job and due to some things in my background, it has made it impossible for me to find a job. I have the experience and the knowledge, but it doesn’t matter to them. Since then, my unemployment has run out and since that day, I’ve been sending out numerous resume’s, either getting very few responses or no responses at all and without any income, I’ve since sold just about all my possessions to pay my bills.
The only thing left to sell is my computer, the school laptop and my phone. My computer currently is the only other thing that is keeping me together, if I didn’t have a TV tuner in it, I wouldn’t know what else to do… but it seems that may have to be sold in order to keep my apartment… and considering the vultures out there, I wouldn’t get much for it because they want “a bargain”.
I’ll post it anyway to see what kinds of offers they’ll make… It's that or get rid of everything and just be homeless... In April of 2010, there was an article about a woman that committed suicide after not being able to find a job and sending out about 200 resumes, she was very intelligent and very skilled, you can read the article here
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