I've pondered the meaning of the title of this journal entry after hearing it from a Japanese Animation movie called Ghost in the Shell 2, Innocence. In a way, it means that no matter what you do, it'll never change, the same goes for habits.
Lately, I've been having a hard time getting out of bed, mostly because I would rather just stay there than leave the security of my apartment, hidden away, not having any contact with the outside world. As long as I have food, electricity, cable, an Internet connection and of course cigarettes, it's all good. This self imposed self isolation is my way of dealing with the world and my issues.
The other thing that I also need to consider is the well being of Samantha, of course, she's enjoying the company because of my being home as much as it's possible, but then again, at times she can also drive me up the wall with her constantly needing attention and "talking". When I say talking, No, not the kind that she's telling me to do things, just her meowing... If I did hear her telling me to do things, I would definitely seek some sort of professional help.
I guess this is my fate and my destiny to be alone in this world, unable to locate my soul mate and find the happiness that seems ever so elusive but present for everyone else.
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