I'm not sure what to write anymore, not sure of anything, what used to be clear is now not so clear and what I didn't care for, I'm close to becoming.
I'm still technically out of work, although I am working as a contractor, but the work isn't consistent. My truck just started to have some issues with the "Service engine soon" light coming on, after I start it and put it in gear, the engine dies.
I've tried and applied for every kind of job from jobs that I am qualified for to jobs that I am over qualified. I can't seem to get employment anywhere. I don't know where to go, who to turn to and if there is some kind of hope for me, anywhere.
I was once a proud person, a person with purpose, a person who held his head up, a person that was self sufficient and now, that has all changed since being out of employment since July 5th of 2009. I should've made the move sooner from Minnesota to Colorado or anywhere else for that matter. I don't know why I stayed as long as I did, maybe I thought there was some purpose or maybe I had hope that something would happen or something else, maybe I got lazy and didn't want to move, just got too comfortable.
I think I had a feeling that I should've moved, it was back in 2002 or 2003, I should've listened to that feeling, I'm sure that all this would be different and I'd be writing about something different today...
つづく ( To be continued... )
