Mood: not sure
A new term, it may already be out there, but this is something that I came up with while sitting around with no information to look up, inbetween what needs to be done. "Flying Monkey Butt". A new word/term from the time in High school, "Chik-Boom". If anyone that I went to high school with would know what this means. If you need an explanation, email me and let me know, I'll try my best to put it without being too descriptive, unless requested.
This morning, like the past 3 work day mornings, I didn't want to go to work. I've waited till just about the last minute to leave. Anyway, this morning, I left a bit too late and missed my bus. After checking to see what time the next bus left, which would have made me really late, I decided to drive in to work instead. I guess because I was closer to downtown, it didn't take me that long to get into work and ended up being about an half hour early for work instead the the previous days, which I've either arrived just on time or 5 minutes late...
I don't know if it's been the weather, the cloudy days of recent or what, but I've been having a strong urge to just get up and leave. I guess, if I should just loose it completely, that just maybe the case. Just getting up, getting into the vehicle and just driving away, leaving everything behind. Then again, I would also need to take Samantha with me. The other issue would be dropping off the keys at the rental office and letting them know that anything left behind is there for anyone to have...
I guess the reason I've been feeling the way I do, is mostly caused by what I've seen out there in society. It seems that I've only been seeing the negative side of society and very little of the good side. At times it feels like no matter what I've done or whom I've helped, I just don't make a difference, mostly because those who I've tried to help, end up either going back or do the samething all over again. There are many others in the field that I am in who have said that it can eat you up and over whelm you if you don't seperate your private life with your work life.
At times it feels like I can feel the pain and suffering of the world, at times I just want it to stop, but I know that it'll always be there and at times it seems like that it's all that I'll ever have. Maybe it's loneliness talking now, maybe it's something else, I just need to try and figure out what it is and a way to either get rid of it or control it...
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Idiots, Dummys, JackaXXs, Morons, etc...
Mood: don't ask
When it comes to things, people get protective and possessive. When it comes to other peoples things, they don't care. Today, before going to work, I noticed before getting into my vehicle, someone had scraped the side of my drivers side door. Previous to that, someone, it appears, had dropped something on the hood on my vehicle and prior to that, someone smashed my turn signal light. I know that my vehicle is an older vehicle and that it may not be the best looking vehicle, but DAMMIT! I've spent a lot of time and money trying to fix it up to look decent!
I'm also getting really pissed at the rental office for not fixing the front security door, anyone can and does just walk into the building. Why, then, am I paying the rent that I do for something that is broken. Either they don't care or they just don't care... There have been a lot of people leaving and currently there are several apartments that are open. That Idiot drug dealer/user that thinks that he's really the shizzle acts like he owns the place and he don't even live there. I'm really getting tired to the point where I'm about to take some action to get these "undesirables" out of the apartments by force.
I really hate my life, I just want to be left alone, I don't want to associate with anyone... I work in "customer service" and don't want to deal with anyone after I'm done with work. That's why I enjoy working /playing on the computer, it doesn't talk back, it doesn't complain, it doesn't need anything except what you put into it and if really does become a problem, you either turn it off and walk away or clear the drive and re-install the OS. Simple. Done.
The other things that really bother me is these people that win the lottery, granted that recently the person that won it deserves it after losing everything in New Orleans, but all these other people that win, they don't need it. I could use it and put that money to good use. I wonder if most of my problems would go away if I did. I'm lucky, but its the little things and not the really big things that I'm lucky in. Like the line from the Movie "Johnny Mnemonic" I want ROOM SERVICE, I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want a $10,000-a-night hooker! I want my shirts laundered like they do at the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo. Just for the record, I don't care about the $10,000 -a- night hooker, but the money to pay for it all for the rest of my life would be the thing that I want.
While I'm venting here, it really, really, really gets me angry (no, not like Marvin) when I'm working really hard and there are those people that don't give a shizzle about anyone else but themselves, then give a smart arse answer as to why they are not. It also bothers the shizzle out of me when people who think their god's gift to mankind, treats everyone as they were... I honestly swear, if a person does that to me and we were face to face, I would turn their lives into a living hell, not mentally, but physically. I was just about to pummel a person that works at the company that I work at and I'm glad that the person was not in front of me, because I was just about ready to drop him to the ground and put that person into a world of hurt for months, maybe years.
I believe that if it were not for this blog or anything else things would just keep building inside me and the potential for me losing it would be a very possible thing. The thing is, I can see and know what my issues are, but like a person looking from the outside, in, it seems like I can't do anything about it.
That's it for now.
When it comes to things, people get protective and possessive. When it comes to other peoples things, they don't care. Today, before going to work, I noticed before getting into my vehicle, someone had scraped the side of my drivers side door. Previous to that, someone, it appears, had dropped something on the hood on my vehicle and prior to that, someone smashed my turn signal light. I know that my vehicle is an older vehicle and that it may not be the best looking vehicle, but DAMMIT! I've spent a lot of time and money trying to fix it up to look decent!
I'm also getting really pissed at the rental office for not fixing the front security door, anyone can and does just walk into the building. Why, then, am I paying the rent that I do for something that is broken. Either they don't care or they just don't care... There have been a lot of people leaving and currently there are several apartments that are open. That Idiot drug dealer/user that thinks that he's really the shizzle acts like he owns the place and he don't even live there. I'm really getting tired to the point where I'm about to take some action to get these "undesirables" out of the apartments by force.
I really hate my life, I just want to be left alone, I don't want to associate with anyone... I work in "customer service" and don't want to deal with anyone after I'm done with work. That's why I enjoy working /playing on the computer, it doesn't talk back, it doesn't complain, it doesn't need anything except what you put into it and if really does become a problem, you either turn it off and walk away or clear the drive and re-install the OS. Simple. Done.
The other things that really bother me is these people that win the lottery, granted that recently the person that won it deserves it after losing everything in New Orleans, but all these other people that win, they don't need it. I could use it and put that money to good use. I wonder if most of my problems would go away if I did. I'm lucky, but its the little things and not the really big things that I'm lucky in. Like the line from the Movie "Johnny Mnemonic" I want ROOM SERVICE, I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want a $10,000-a-night hooker! I want my shirts laundered like they do at the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo. Just for the record, I don't care about the $10,000 -a- night hooker, but the money to pay for it all for the rest of my life would be the thing that I want.
While I'm venting here, it really, really, really gets me angry (no, not like Marvin) when I'm working really hard and there are those people that don't give a shizzle about anyone else but themselves, then give a smart arse answer as to why they are not. It also bothers the shizzle out of me when people who think their god's gift to mankind, treats everyone as they were... I honestly swear, if a person does that to me and we were face to face, I would turn their lives into a living hell, not mentally, but physically. I was just about to pummel a person that works at the company that I work at and I'm glad that the person was not in front of me, because I was just about ready to drop him to the ground and put that person into a world of hurt for months, maybe years.
I believe that if it were not for this blog or anything else things would just keep building inside me and the potential for me losing it would be a very possible thing. The thing is, I can see and know what my issues are, but like a person looking from the outside, in, it seems like I can't do anything about it.
That's it for now.
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