If it wasn't for...

Mood: down

I think that if it wasn't for Samantha (my cat), I don't know what would my life be like up until now, what I mean is, I don't know if I would still be around, if I would still be sane (or am I), or if I would be still the way I am...

My situation is getting a little tough, I'm trying to hold on to what little sanity that I do have and cope with all these issues that are going on right now. One of them I can not mention at all right now, the second is my financial situation. The bills are begining to come in fast and furious and I can't keep up, with what I'm making now, I can't seem to have enough to be able to do things that I would like to do or buy. All of my income are going into my bills. The other thing is a person who I thought was a friend, pretty much just distanced himself from me, not returning my calls or letting me know that there is a event to do for the department.

The other department, I have to take a LOA from due to the first situation that I'm not mentioning yet, I don't have any one that I can confide in or anyone that I can turn to for help. The other situation is the rental office, I informed them I wanted to sign up for a year lease, but apparently they only understood my information on the new vehicle and not the lease part. Now I'm on a month to month, which is a higher cost.

I guess right now I'm feeling the urge to just get into my vehicle and just drive, doesn't matter where, just anywhere, away from this state, away from my situation. Yeah, I know, it's not going to resolve my issues, but for the time being, not having them to think about for a little while would be great.

Well, I guess this ends this entry, more later, back to the rat race, the race I know that I'll never win and more than likely end up losing.

Hello, it's been a while

Mood: not sure

Well, it has been a while, but with all the things going on, my life has been pretty stressful, more so lately. I used to enjoy work, but the way things are going there, I don't look forward to going in. Lately I've decided to force myself, I have to force myself, otherwise, I'll end up losing everything.

As it is, the couple of days that I did miss, it's hurting me right now. I've been thinking of taking a second job, as I get older, I don't know if I can handle it and I know it'll take its toll on me, both physically and mentally. I feel as though I'm on the edge already, an extreme edge, the kind of edge that you can feel yourself going, but can't stop it from happening.

Its also not helping with the new people moving in around here either. One of the new "residents" isn't considerate of others and plays his music loud at 7 in the morning, another "resident" has his ride honk the horn when he's here to pick him up, the other people have a lot of friends over a lot and they leave really late at night/early morning and make a lot of noise as they leave. Someone here also likes to leave the security door wide open or disable the door so that anyone can walk in. Some of the other "residents" are either selling drugs or speeding around the parking lot acting like "ganstas" from North Minneapolis.

The wannabes are just that, I would like to see them live in North Minneapolis for a week and see if they still act the way they act. Right now, I just want to be alone, by myself no one to bother. I guess thats the reason why lately all I do is stay in my apartment, only going out at night so that I don't have to interact with anyone.