This is not going to end well...

I thought I was finally going to get a job after this long hiatus, I was finally going to find a job only to be told there is a hiring freeze... I had filled out all the forms and had also signed up for a training class.

I've just about sold everything of worth and considering selling my computer which I need and hand built myself and may have to consider selling my school issued netbook and my phone. If I do this, I'm just going to give up.

I'm tired of fighting, tired of trying to survive, tired of just looking only to have people being so prejudice.

Hello, been a while...

Not sure how much I can take this, been unemployed for a while and now it's over. Just about sold everything to pay my bills and it's still not enough.

I've sent out so many resumes and have gotten very few responses. I guess I'm truely alone and about to lose everything and my self esteem and dignity.

Been so long since I've been back home...

I have been living here, on the mainland, Minnesota, since April of 1995.

There has been so many things that I have done, so many things that I have seen and still there are so many things yet to be. I have met so many people and within the past several years have only come to realize what a protected life I have lived before moving here.

There are some people that are open minded and there are some people that appear to be open minded and the very few are are truly open minded. I know there were several people that were afraid that I was going to take over their jobs. They were also prejudice...

I don't know where to begin as to what I mean or if I should write an explanation. What I do know is that if there were things that I could change in my life, either before or since then, there would be so many things that I would change. What I won't and will not change is my sense of duty, loyalty and ethics.

Since my first non-paying job when I was 13, I have been told a lot that I acted much more mature for my age and worked hard and this maybe a fault cause when I do work, I work at a 150 percent capacity with a tendency to burn myself out quickly. As for ethics, I believe that a job should be done well and to be knowledgeable in what I do, this I think comes from my ethnic, martial arts and management training background.

The first two are clear and obvious, the third, well... at one time in my work history, I was an assistant manager/management trainee for a high class restaurant. I would like to say to them if I were to ever see them again is... "Thank You".

In the 30 years I have held a job, I have never really known what I've really wanted to do and worked basically in almost every different industry that there is, however within the last 10 years, I have come to realize what I really truly enjoy but am not sure if I would be able to make a career out of it. You see, for the about the last year, I have been unemployed. Not that I don't like it, but it seems that there is nothing available for a person without a "certificate".

I have the skills, I have the experience and I know that I can do the job with little training cause I learn fast. I guess I'll leave it at this and write more later...

つづく ( To be continued... )

It's Probably Me

by Sting, Michael Kamen and Eric Clapton

If the night turned cold and the stars looked down
And you hug yourself on the cold cold ground.
You wake the morning in a stranger's coat,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
My only friend, who could it be?
It's hard to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.

When your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
And you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal,
You search the city for your only friend,
No one would you see.
You ask yourself, who'd watch for me?
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free.
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.

You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show.
Some would say I should let you go your way,
You'll only make me cry.
But if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.

When the world's gone crazy and it makes no sense
And there's only one voice that comes to your defense.
The jury's out and your eyes search the room
And one friendly face is all you need to see.
And if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me.

I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me...

つづく ( To be continued... )

A little information on the accused killer of Asa Yamashita...

The person that was accused of the stabbing death of Asa Yamashita has a known history of Mental illness there in Hawaii and California.

Article from the Honolulu Star Bulletin:

Teacher's alleged killer has long police record
By Rosemarie Bernardo
POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Mar 05, 2009

A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.

An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.

Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.

According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.

Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.

Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."

While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.

Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.

Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."

Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.

Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.

On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.

Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.

Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.

A 25-year-old man diagnosed with schizophrenia was indicted yesterday in connection with the fatal stabbing of a Waianae High School teacher.

An Oahu grand jury indicted Tittleman Fauatea on charges of second-degree murder in the stabbing Friday of Asa Yamashita at the Ewa Town Center. He is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail.

Court records show that Fauatea has been hospitalized several times in Hawaii and California for mental illness.

According to records, he told a doctor at the Hawaii State Hospital in August, following his arrest for criminal trespassing at a Kahaluu convenience store, that the television talks to him and that he heard voices.

Within two months of his evaluation, he also was observed having "hypersexual" behavior — flirting inappropriately with most of the female staff and patients in the ward at the state hospital.

Records also stated Fauatea had several instances where "he had lost control and either struck or attempted to strike fellow patients."

While living with his sister in California for a few months in 2003, she initially kicked him out of her home after he threatened to kill her children. He also made multiple 911 calls falsely telling dispatchers that his sister was dead in her bed.

Before he was hospitalized at the state hospital, Fauatea had three psychiatric hospitalizations in California and one at Kahi Mohala Behavioral Healthcare in Ewa Beach. During those times, he displayed "verbally and physically assaultive behavior," according to a doctor's evaluation in court records.

Further psychiatric evaluation reports state, "He had delusional content, paranoia, auditory and visual hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, self talk and inappropriate sexual behavior (that is, staring at girls, asking young children at the laundromat for their phone numbers and touching himself in public)."

Court records indicate Fauatea, who was born in Utah and raised in Hawaii, graduated with a certificate from Moanalua High School in 2002.

Last year, he was charged with harassment involving a woman at an Ewa Beach recreation center at 91-1037 Kamailio St.

On June 8, Fauatea allegedly walked up to the woman, who was in the swimming pool area, stood less than two inches in front of her and stared at her chest. The woman turned to ignore him, but he continued to get closer to her. She told Fauatea to leave but he refused. He continued harassing the woman for 10 minutes, scaring her. Fauatea served six days in jail for the offense, considered a misdemeanor.

Two months later, Fauatea was charged for second-degree criminal trespassing after he refused to leave a 7-Eleven store at 47-515 Kamehameha Highway in Kahaluu. Court documents stated Fauatea headed to the store with a suitcase and asked the clerk for food. When the clerk refused, Fauatea placed his suitcase near the doorway and sat down, partially blocking the store's entrance door. The clerk asked him multiple times to leave, but he refused.

Fauatea also has four previous arrests in Las Vegas which include a domestic violence offense.

Now, this person should have been in the care of a Mental Health facility or at least monitored on the regular basis with medication for his mental health being subscribed... I have lived with and worked at a facility that dealt with such people. I do feel for them and that I know they can't help unless helped

The issue is the system failed. Those people who were part of the system didn't treat this individual as that, an individual with unique issues. People cannot be lumped into a group, each person must be treated on a case by case basis.

The other issue is that law enforcement needs additional training in mental health issues, what used to work for training before doesn't work for today's society. In the old days, a police officer just needed to enforce the laws, now they, depending on the department, get training or require knowledge of being a First Responder. They should now need basic training as a counselor and basic Mental Health training so that they can identify and prevent these types of issues.

If this person was recognized as a person with mental health issues in the beginning, this would have never happened as well as other incidents within this past year in Hawaii as well as other states.

つづく ( To be continued... )

Asa Yamashita

Oh where do I begin... I knew her when I attended Intermediate school. We played in band together, she played the Oboe and I played Clarinet and because of my position in the Clarinet section, I sat next to her. At that time, her last name was Shimabukuro.

One of my favorite memories of her was during a concert at the Farrington High School Auditorium, just before and during the performance, I was trying to make her laugh cause she was nervous, I think she had a solo in one of the pieces we performed that night. Apparently it worked cause she wasn't as nervous as she was in the beginning.

At the end of the night, back at the band room, she came up to me and kissed me on the cheek, thanking me for helping her overcome her nervousness.

I can still see her smiling face when we were in that band room, making fun of her and her mock anger at us and Mr. Fukaya whenever we teased her. I was at S.B. Dole for only 2 years, in the 9th grade I had changed schools and went to Aiea. I lost touch with her and other people. After graduating from High School, I've thought of those people from time to time and when I moved from Hawaii to Minnesota, every so often I would think of Asa.

I tried to locate her every so often, hoping she was on either MySpace or Facebook but never could find her on there so that I could get back in touch.

This past Monday, March 2nd when I brought up the Honolulu Star Bulletin's web page and saw the article of a 43 year old woman who was stabbed. As I read the article, I saw the name Asa and that had me wondering if it was the same person. I searched to see if there was a picture of that person. When I did find the picture, I was utterly and completly shocked.

Since finding out it was her, I've been asking myself if she'd still be with us if I've been back in Hawaii, what could've I done, the loss, her family, her husband, her daughters, her smiling happy person that she was.

It'll take me some time to get over this. I'll always remember her and the loss we've all suffered on that day. I know your watching over all of us with your happy smile, always with us in our hearts, spirit and minds.

つづく ( To be continued... )

I don't care no more...

No matter what I say, no matter what I do, how hard I work, how thorough I am, no matter how much experience I have it doesn't matter anymore.

つづく ( To be continued... )

Can't escape the past...

On my way home tonight while on the bus, some drunk got on the bus... After a while in his drunken stupor, he slid to the floor of the bus. Now remember, this is Winter so the floor is all wet with melted snow and whatever else like salt...

The bus driver, whom I got to know pretty well, tried to keep an eye on him while she was trying to drive safely. At one point, while he was sitting on the wet floor I asked her to call for a detox pickup. She then turned to him while she was stopped at a bus stop and told the guy to either sit on the chair or get off the bus... The guy was very incoherent and I don't think he understood anything that was being told to him.

After the 3rd or 4th time she told him, he started to butt scoot towards the exit, after about only moving an inch, another passenger came to the front to "assist" this guy out the door and onto the bus stop bench. I finally got up and got on the other side of the guy and held him in an escort hold and walked him off the bus with the other passenger. We got him to the bench and got back on the bus. My friend then called her dispatch to have a squad dispatched for a welfare check on the guy at the bus stop just in case and especially since it was about 25 degrees outside.

At first I didn't want to touch the guy let alone have him side next to me, firstly cause he was so drunk, I'm sure a PBT would've shown the guy was about a 3 or even a 4. secondly, he was drooling like a leaky faucet, thirdly he stunk to high hell... In the end I had to touch him to help another person escort him off the bus. I was very grateful that I always carry hand sanitizer with me but didn't have my fluid blocking leather gloves with me (which I'm going to carry all the time now...)

So, after reading all this, your wondering, what does this have to do with the title and he sounds like a cop. Well... I'm not a cop, never was, but I did work for a police department at a detox center so I've seen this type of people all the time and was trained to handle them. Then again, you or I could say that in a way I was a cop, I was in the police reserves and had most training that Police officers get. Now, I'm just a regular white collar worker in an office or IT department for a major business and don't want to get back to doing that stuff (although, at times I do miss it) but it seems that at times I can't escape it or forget about it when stuff like this happens...

つづく ( To be continued... )

New Year, New Camera!!

Picked up a Nikon D80 with a 18-55 Nikkor lens. The price was pretty good so it basically made it an easy decision...

Hopefully I'll have some pictures up taken with the D80 and eventually I also want to pick up a D90 and keep the D80 as a backup.

つづく ( To be continued... )

The sad state of Music and the lack of lyric writing skills...

I've been meaning to write about his for a while, it's the really sad and desperate state of music now days.

The other week I was listening to the radio on my way home and a song the radio station was playing was from a group that apparently had no skills what so ever. They resorted to using nursery rhymes... Actually, I found the artist and the song...

It's by Korn and the song is called Shoots and Ladders... Apparently Korn has run out of ideas for songs and had to resort to using Nursery rhymes... I can understand doing covers but to start using nursery rhymes... that's pretty sad.

つづく ( To be continued... )

Target Store - Downtown Minneapolis

I went in there to buy a sandwich, which normally they have a pretty good Roast Beef one. After picking one up and walking up to the counter, where a clerk was ringing up another customer, another customer walked up besides me and in front of me. A second clerk walked up to the counter and asked her what she wanted to order.

That just pissed me off, I was there first, I was holding the sandwich in front of me at chest height and at least 2 inches from my chest, ready to pay! Needless to say, I walked away from the counter, threw the sandwich back into the cooler and I mean purposely tossed it back and walked out.

At this time, I'm not going to buy anything from their food court ever again. That was the second time I've received bad service, the first time was when I got back from Colorado and hadn't eaten, so I decided to stop off and pick up something to eat. I picked up a mini Pizza Hut pizza from the warmer and was looking at what I had grabbed and the clerk there yelled "You touch it, you buy it, don't put it back!" That was at the Coon Rapids Target store.

Needless to say, I've never bought any ready made/ready to eat foods from there anymore and now the same for the downtown Minneapolis store. I'm beginning to see a pattern there, low pay, low I.Q. = Bad Service. The thing is, they don't realize people won't return if they have a bad experience and eventually word will get out about the service and eventually they'll be out of a job cause of no business.

つづく ( To be continued... )

World of Warcraft is just the computer version of crack...

I broke down and downloaded the 10 day free trial version of World of Warcraft yesterday, got it loaded and setup, now I've played at least 14 or more hours... On their website, they have a tag of "It's not a game, it's a World" it should be "It's not a game, it's an obsession".

Last time I played a MMO (Massive Multiplayer Online), it was Ultima online. The part that really turned me off to such games was that, like Everquest, you have to pay a monthly or yearly fee to play online. With Battlefield 2, Command & Conquer, Starcraft and World of Warcraft, you pay of the software and that's it, no monthly fees.

つづく ( To be continued... )

I'm drunk with apps for a new phone...

I've just signed up with Twitter... lets see how long that'll last...

つづく ( To be continued... )

Blackberry 9000 Bold

Blackberry 9000 Bold
Originally uploaded by TekBandit66

I had intended to go into town an hour early before I had to start work but ended up over sleeping... I guess I was way excited knowing I was going to get this. I ended up catching the bus at the usual time and getting to my stop about 5 minutes early so I still had time to get money out to buy this.

The clerk at the store wanted to explain some of the features and how to use them but because I was short on time, I just said I'll read the manual. I was able to get my sim card out of my old phone and ended up putting it in upside down. The clerk double check and switched it around. I was good to go!

While at work, in between calls, I browsed the features and looked through the manual to get things setup. I ended up swapping the sim card several times to get my contacts from the Razor to the Bold. I also had to swap the flash memory several times to get my old files over to the new phone...

I'm still learning how to use it and have already found some really handy free apps, especially a free flickr app. Since the Bold has GPS built in, it'll also Geo tag my pictures I take with it. It has a 2.0 mp camera so that'll make it handy when I can't get to my regular camera quickly.

Also for now, I'm keeping the display film till I can get a protective film made specifically for the Bold. I'm also looking at a case by Armor Case, which, if I do get it, I won't need to get the screen protector.

つづく ( To be continued... )

Signs - Doesn't anyone read them anymore?

I've noticed lately that people don't read signs anymore... I've watched people go around a sign that said "Sidewalk Closed, please use the other side". There is a reason that the sidewalk is closed, there's construction going on! So these people prefer to risk their own safety for convenience. At the same time, I've watched people park their vehicles in a no parking/loading zone cause they don't want to pay for parking. What they'll do is turn on their emergency lights and go into the bank to do their deposits or withdrawals... If the parking enforcement people come around they get a ticket and then they'll complain and or even argue for getting one... just take it and pay the fine, it's their fault in the first place for being lazy.

While riding the bus, people are notorious for not reading... on the back door, there is a sign that says watch and wait for the green light, then open the door. They'll get to the bottom step, wait for the bus to stop, then try to push the door open before the light comes on. On some of the buses, there is a sign that says push on the yellow areas... they'll push on the handles then yell "BACK DOOR". Yup, it's a door and yup it's at the back... and yes, everyone on the bus knows what it is...

I've also noticed that people in downtown don't believe in using crosswalks. They would rather cross in the middle of a busy street, stopping traffic or nearly getting hit than to walk an extra 20 or 30 feet than to be safe. Yeah... I'm sure everyone is superman/superwoman and when that 15 ton truck hits them, it's gonna bounce right off of them. I've seen 18 wheelers with a red front end and it wasn't from paint while driving on the interstate... or huge red circles on the highway, that was from hitting a deer, didn't scratch the paint, but couldn't find any pieces of the deer either... So if they can do that to a deer, imagine what a human being would look like...

I'm getting anxious about this Friday, I'll be getting a Blackberry to replace my Razor. Also, finally finished Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. Towards the end, it got really difficult cause the enemy kept sending wave after wave of units that almost didn't stop. By the time I finished, it was about 4 in the morning. Now to get back to Battlefield 2....

つづく ( To be continued... )

New Game, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

Picked up C&C - RA3 this past Friday. Installed it and played a couple of tutorials and dove in on Saturday. On Sunday night, I completed the Soviet campaign on a medium setting. Now it's on to the American campaign and after, the JAPANESE!!

I'm hoping that next week, I'll be getting a new phone. I'm planning on getting the Blackberry Bold (9000). My current phone, a Motorola Razor V3xx, unfortunately, I've dropped it at least 4 times by accident, well actually, I didn't pay attention and dropped it. So the call and signal quality is not as good as it was before.

I also hope to get a Xbox 360...

つづく ( To be continued... )



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つづく ( To be continued... )

Power Tools!!

Just got a new power tool today, a Milwaukee 7" Polisher that does multiple speeds from a hardware store in downtown St. Paul, MN called Seven Corners Hardware that is actually an Ace Hardware Store, but on steroids. The store is better than the larger cookie cutter type hardware stores cause the staff there are very helpful and very knowledgeable.

Last month, I picked up a grinder made by Makita in a 4" diameter, it turns out I made a mistake in getting it cause the discs and accessories are harder to find than a 4 1/2" or 5" grinder. So, next month, I hope to get another Milwaukee tool, a 4 1/2" Variable Speed Sander/Grinder.

I've finally finished the full tower case, used the polisher on it and now the finish is very clear where I could get it smooth. I also tried it on my truck after picking up some rubbing compound and was able to get some of the scratches out, I plan to get the right rubbing compound tomorrow and hopefully get the finish glassy.

つづく ( To be continued... )

New hobbies...

I can say for sure that I have 2 new hobbies... 1st one is my truck. This past weekend I spent the day adding a final coat of Herculiner and then letting it dry for 2 days before putting the mats back in and the roll up soft tonneau cover back on the bed. I must say the results were very good and now the coverage looks even.

2nd hobby is case modding. I guess that falls into the line of re-painting the truck, I had an old case that a co-worker bought from me and took it completely apart and down to metal. I've put 3 coats of primer and so far a base coat and a coat of paint. I've wet sanded the 1st coat and have a lacquer coat of gloss black. I still have the side panels to wet sand yet.

I'm almost finished with adding gold leaf to parts of the case. After adding the last coat of lacquer to the front bezel, I'll be adding gold leaf towards the bottom to accent it.

I also recently got a powder coat gun, now I just have to get a toaster oven so that I can do some parts...

つづく ( To be continued... )

This weekend was a bust...

I wanted to get some painting done but due to the weather, I didn't get much done. I picked up the Herculiner and more paint to mod the old computer chassis. I did get all the metal parts sanded down and paint removed. I also got almost all of the parts primed but there are still about 2 more coats that need to be put on before I can paint.

I thought I'd be able to get it done over the weekend but being a full tower, there's a lot that needs to be prepped before I can paint.

I did order and purchase a powder coating kit, I should have that in by next week... Looking forward to trying it out, on what, I'll figure that out when the time arrives.

つづく ( To be continued... )

Love the Grinder!!!

Power tools, gotta love um! I used my grinder for the first time today to get the paint off the truck so that I could paint. First thing I did was get rid of the tail gate cap that was riveted into the tail gate door. I first tried to drill out the rivets, but that didn't quite work. So I got the grinder out and took out the rivets that way, man was that fast and easy!

After removing that, I swapped out the grinding wheel for a sanding wheel and got to work on removing the paint from the top of the bed rails. Once that was done, I got the primer on and then the paint. Total time spent, 8 hours... I didn't get all of it done and now I need to wash the truck with all that dust from the sanding.

Next weekend, hopefully I'll be able to put on the Herculiner and do the rims.

つづく ( To be continued... )