Mood: down
Last night, I didn't get much sleep, as I mentioned in my entry for yesterday. I finally fell asleep at about 0230 and ended up waking up at approximately 0730, after that I couldn't sleep again. It seems like the day was matching my mood, grey. I have a need to talk about my situation, but I just don't know who to turn to or to talk with. I don't want to share my deepest, darkest thoughts to just anyone, so if it seems like what I'm writing here is vague, that's why.
The other issues that are plaguing my thoughts is whether to, well, I won't mention it, sorry that I've piqued your curiosity. The main thing is having to face the shame, losing face and having to deal with what others are thinking about me because of this.
I went for a walk on my lunch break, hoping to kind of clear my mind and calm myself down a bit, but I can't seem to get rid or lessen the feelings and mood that I'm in right now. I would rather be at home right now, just staying in, with the shades drawn and just being there to think of this and how to try to deal with this issue. I have a feeling that by the time this all comes to an end, my mind will be in such a state and this depression will overtake me. I worry about this, mostly how would my possessions be dispersed and who will take care of Samantha.
All I can think about right now is going the easy route and not taking the harder route which will make me a better person in the end. I don't want to face the fear of the unknown or the loss of my sanity, I know that if it should go that route, I'll lose it completely that which I have been holding together with a tightly wound, very thing thread. I can, at times feel it give, but somehow have managed to keep it together until now...
If I should, I want to find the quick and the painless way. I know that there maybe some people that will miss me, but only for a little while, then I'll be forgotten, but I know that there will be those who will never forget and its to those people that I will apologize the most.
I just feel that my honor and families honor is at stake here and being the first born and the oldest, I have let them down. It's not a pride issue, it's a Japanese issue, I feel a tie to my Japanese ancestry, but then at times I am conflicted with my American heritage. I know that I was not born and raised in Japan, but born and raised in American as an American. I often feel a strong pull to my ancient heritage...
The one thing I do know that I can write here is that I know that I've been around in the past, at least 3 times prior to this life and in all of my past lives, I have been born of Japanese Ancestry. I know that my most recent past life, my life was cut short and that is why my spirit or soul decided to return so quickly. I know that after this life, my spirit will move on to somewhere else, but to where, that is still a mystry. I just hope that it's a easier and better life than that I had here and now...
All that I can say and feel is that i've been miserable just about my whole life, sure there were times that I felt good about my life, but it just seems so far and few inbetween. The main thing is that, I've been searching for that perfect person, the perfect love and it seems to keep alluding me.
I've been wondering if I should leave on my own accord, will have to repeat a life here? or will I be able to move on? or will I have to stay in a state that will be tormenting till the end of time.
I also wonder if so many more questions that I have will keep me up again tonight, the last time I faced a crisis, it took me at least 2-3 weeks to clear out my head and finally get a good nights rest. I just wished this would all go away. I know that the way some people choose will not work for me because I'll be able to remember everything while under the influence of either alcohol or narcotics. I should explain about the narcotics, what I mean is that I used to take medication for asthma and that stuff would get me high, the same goes for Actifed which was prescribed to me by a doctor.
Well, I'll end this entry for now and if I still have control of my thoughts and sanity, I'll write again tomorrow. Till then, Stay safe, stay well and stay sane.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Friday, April 29, 2005
Lost, but not forgotten...
Mood: not sure
The day started out pretty gloomy, I didn't want to go to work, I didn't want to go anywhere... After putting in a neutral day at work, I was pretty wiped out, tired from dealing with everyone and didn't feel like doing anything...(seems like a theme going on here).
Well, something happened after I got home, it was something that I didn't want to happen and put me into a worse mood. I couldn't sleep, but I was really tired, so after about 0230, I made an attempt at getting some sleep with the hopes of getting up at about 0930, however that didn't last very long.
Lets just say, the ghosts of the past have come back to haunt me. Something that has already been bothering me and has now made it worse.
Well, I'll write more about my mood in my next entry.
Stay Safe, Stay Well...
The day started out pretty gloomy, I didn't want to go to work, I didn't want to go anywhere... After putting in a neutral day at work, I was pretty wiped out, tired from dealing with everyone and didn't feel like doing anything...(seems like a theme going on here).
Well, something happened after I got home, it was something that I didn't want to happen and put me into a worse mood. I couldn't sleep, but I was really tired, so after about 0230, I made an attempt at getting some sleep with the hopes of getting up at about 0930, however that didn't last very long.
Lets just say, the ghosts of the past have come back to haunt me. Something that has already been bothering me and has now made it worse.
Well, I'll write more about my mood in my next entry.
Stay Safe, Stay Well...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Semper Fi!
Mood: happy
I fell asleep on my sofa last night, only to wake up at about 0400 with Samantha sleeping under my legs. I ended up stumbling into bed and fell asleep until 1030. Samantha ended up trying to wake me up. She tried to wake me up by jumping on the bed, running across and jumping off a couple of times. She then tried to wake me up by trying to crawl under the sheets, I finally let her crawl under and feel asleep for about an hour and woke up with her sitting on the shelves next to my bed.
I finally ended up tumbling out of bed and trying to wake up, checking email and watching some T.V., killing time until I had to meet up with my friend to get the title of the car transferred.
I was planning on leaving at about 1430 so that I could stop off at my bank and get some money out, but ended up taking too much time and leaving at about 1445, so I decided to head straight there and planned on taking out money at another ATM and just pay the fees. Well, on the way down there, the car over heated and by the time I got to the place to transfer the title, I had left a puddle of antifreeze in the parking lot.
Well, after the title was transferred, I headed over the H.Q. for roll call and made it there by about 1700. At the time, I wasn't planning on picking up a squad, but the inspector requested that I pick one up from the lot. After getting the squad and returning to H.Q., I got my assignment and headed over to my post.
It wasn't too bad, just a couple of lemming drivers but all in all it was a pretty good night. After the event, another inspector was planning on heading over to someplace to get some dinner, I suggested a new place close by, a new Greek/Mediterrainian/American place. We were also joined by a licensed Sergeant for dinner. The food there was pretty good, I had a lot of food and was pretty stuffed after finishing.
Well, that was my day, it was a pretty good one, so I'll end it here and write again tomorrow. Till next time, Stay safe, stay well.
I fell asleep on my sofa last night, only to wake up at about 0400 with Samantha sleeping under my legs. I ended up stumbling into bed and fell asleep until 1030. Samantha ended up trying to wake me up. She tried to wake me up by jumping on the bed, running across and jumping off a couple of times. She then tried to wake me up by trying to crawl under the sheets, I finally let her crawl under and feel asleep for about an hour and woke up with her sitting on the shelves next to my bed.
I finally ended up tumbling out of bed and trying to wake up, checking email and watching some T.V., killing time until I had to meet up with my friend to get the title of the car transferred.
I was planning on leaving at about 1430 so that I could stop off at my bank and get some money out, but ended up taking too much time and leaving at about 1445, so I decided to head straight there and planned on taking out money at another ATM and just pay the fees. Well, on the way down there, the car over heated and by the time I got to the place to transfer the title, I had left a puddle of antifreeze in the parking lot.
Well, after the title was transferred, I headed over the H.Q. for roll call and made it there by about 1700. At the time, I wasn't planning on picking up a squad, but the inspector requested that I pick one up from the lot. After getting the squad and returning to H.Q., I got my assignment and headed over to my post.
It wasn't too bad, just a couple of lemming drivers but all in all it was a pretty good night. After the event, another inspector was planning on heading over to someplace to get some dinner, I suggested a new place close by, a new Greek/Mediterrainian/American place. We were also joined by a licensed Sergeant for dinner. The food there was pretty good, I had a lot of food and was pretty stuffed after finishing.
Well, that was my day, it was a pretty good one, so I'll end it here and write again tomorrow. Till next time, Stay safe, stay well.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Hump day...
Mood: a-ok
Well, at first I didn't feel like going out, I've been getting tired of these matches. I met the match that I was setup with, she seems pretty close to the kind of person that I've been looking for, but somehow I don't feel like she's the one. I guess I feel a little hesitant because she has a child and that she owns a home. I just don't know why I feel this way or seem to be able to find the right person.
After dinner I decided to head over to the store to try and find the new Hiroshima album and supposedly it was supposed to be released on the 26th, however none of the stores that I went to had it. At the last moment, I decided to head over to Barnes and Nobles and it turns out that they had it there. I picked that up and a law enforcement magazine because it had a couple of interesting and related articles that I'm still reading.
Well, tomorrow, I go and get the car registered to me and work an event for Minneapolis. I hope that it goes well, until the next time, stay safe and stay well.
Well, at first I didn't feel like going out, I've been getting tired of these matches. I met the match that I was setup with, she seems pretty close to the kind of person that I've been looking for, but somehow I don't feel like she's the one. I guess I feel a little hesitant because she has a child and that she owns a home. I just don't know why I feel this way or seem to be able to find the right person.
After dinner I decided to head over to the store to try and find the new Hiroshima album and supposedly it was supposed to be released on the 26th, however none of the stores that I went to had it. At the last moment, I decided to head over to Barnes and Nobles and it turns out that they had it there. I picked that up and a law enforcement magazine because it had a couple of interesting and related articles that I'm still reading.
Well, tomorrow, I go and get the car registered to me and work an event for Minneapolis. I hope that it goes well, until the next time, stay safe and stay well.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Something about getting old...
Mood: not sure
Another day of the samething at work, a grey and cold day, I did look forward to the ride home on the bus, I fell asleep and at one of the park and ride stops, the bus driver thought I got off at that particular stop, turns out, it wasn't my stop.
Anyway, after getting home, first thing I did, like I have been doing since Sunday, played Bejeweled 2. Well, yeah sure, I live such an exciting life, but then again...
I guess this is it for today, till next time, Stay safe and stay well...
Another day of the samething at work, a grey and cold day, I did look forward to the ride home on the bus, I fell asleep and at one of the park and ride stops, the bus driver thought I got off at that particular stop, turns out, it wasn't my stop.
Anyway, after getting home, first thing I did, like I have been doing since Sunday, played Bejeweled 2. Well, yeah sure, I live such an exciting life, but then again...
I guess this is it for today, till next time, Stay safe and stay well...
Monday, April 25, 2005
Blue Monday
Mood: blue
Another grey and rainy day, today at work, I was pretty irritated all day, mostly because of the policy that is currently being "reinforced".
Anyway, not much for today, more next time, Stay well and stay safe.
Another grey and rainy day, today at work, I was pretty irritated all day, mostly because of the policy that is currently being "reinforced".
Anyway, not much for today, more next time, Stay well and stay safe.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Sunday, Sunday...
Mood: not sure
Well, another day of work and it wasn't so bad. It was after work that made for a better day, I stopped off at a major store (Yellow Sign, Blue letters), anyway, I went looking for some new earphone covers, which they didn't have. Anyway, I found a new game that I was playing online and decided to pick it up. The game is Bejeweled 2 Deluxe, I got pretty addicted to it, mostly for the music and the graphics are pretty good.
I also picked up a new DVD audio disc, as it turns out, I don't have a DTS decoder or at least, my current sound card doesn't have that feature built in, I may have to upgrade my soundcard to the latest version of the Soundblaster. Another alternative is to find a software DTS decoder. I guess it wasn't a total loss, I did get a Paul Oakenfold album, most of the tracks on the album were pretty good.
Well, that was it for today, till the next time, stay well and stay safe.
Well, another day of work and it wasn't so bad. It was after work that made for a better day, I stopped off at a major store (Yellow Sign, Blue letters), anyway, I went looking for some new earphone covers, which they didn't have. Anyway, I found a new game that I was playing online and decided to pick it up. The game is Bejeweled 2 Deluxe, I got pretty addicted to it, mostly for the music and the graphics are pretty good.
I also picked up a new DVD audio disc, as it turns out, I don't have a DTS decoder or at least, my current sound card doesn't have that feature built in, I may have to upgrade my soundcard to the latest version of the Soundblaster. Another alternative is to find a software DTS decoder. I guess it wasn't a total loss, I did get a Paul Oakenfold album, most of the tracks on the album were pretty good.
Well, that was it for today, till the next time, stay well and stay safe.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Stop the world, I wanna get off...
Mood: irritated
The day started off pretty nice, although last night some of the neighbors decided to have a get together with some friends. At 0200, they started to arrive, approximately 5 vehicles in all, they all get out, talking loudly, not giving a care about those who work the next day. Then one of the other neighbors return home and decided to use their P.A. system they installed in their vehicle at approximately 0230.
I was about ready to go over and grab the stupid sh** by the throat and tell him, look, you stupid dumbsh**, it's 0230 in the morning, some people are trying to sleep because they have to work on a Saturday and your out here acting like a f***ing a**hole at this hour. I was able to control myself and try to get back to sleep, I suppose the party people left sometime early in the morning before the sun rose.
After my alarm went off, I kept hitting the snooze bar cause I was so tired from last night, Samantha didn't help much with her jumping on the bed and standing on my chest, looking at me, trying to get me up. I finally rolled (really and truely rolled) out of bed and tried to wake up so that I could get ready for work.
Before going in, I really wanted to eat some shrimp from a Vietnamese restaurant I know of in downtown Minneapolis, so I went out of my way to stop off there before actually reaching work. I ended up getting 2 orders of butterfly shirmp with the orange sauce, fried potstickers and an order of Vietnamese summer rolls. For those of you not familiar with the difference, Vietnamese spring rolls are deep fried, like egg rolls and summer rolls are "raw", basically they are made to order and are very fresh and healthy.
Anyway after getting into work, it wasn't so bad, but the thing is they want to open a "ticket" for every single call that we take and also open a "ticket" for tickets that we open. I really was getting frustrated and irritated to the point I just felt like I wanted to pound on something. The thing is, we open a ticket to a group that supports whatever trouble we're reporting and they don't want to deal with it, but when it comes to access, they don't want to give it up, so why have the users call us to open a ticket and no one is able to support it in the first place.
I really don't understand why these people think this way, if they give us the access and we do the support, then they don't have to deal with it or worry about having to be responsible. However when something goes wrong, our department is the first to get blamed because they can't offer the support that it should get.
I'm about ready to open a ticket for every little thing that I or anyone else does... i.e. going to the restroom, going to lunch, talking to my co-workers, getting coffee... The supervisor states that our phone call statistics are poor, but the thing is we're wasting our time opening tickets for tickets for tickets. They have also stated that we don't open enough tickets, but we get so backed up on calls, so what are their true intentions?
Anyway, enough of that, I hope that my neigbor who asked me out to go dancing and drinking is planning on going tonight, I think I could use a distraction as such.
Well, till next time, stay well and stay safe.
The day started off pretty nice, although last night some of the neighbors decided to have a get together with some friends. At 0200, they started to arrive, approximately 5 vehicles in all, they all get out, talking loudly, not giving a care about those who work the next day. Then one of the other neighbors return home and decided to use their P.A. system they installed in their vehicle at approximately 0230.
I was about ready to go over and grab the stupid sh** by the throat and tell him, look, you stupid dumbsh**, it's 0230 in the morning, some people are trying to sleep because they have to work on a Saturday and your out here acting like a f***ing a**hole at this hour. I was able to control myself and try to get back to sleep, I suppose the party people left sometime early in the morning before the sun rose.
After my alarm went off, I kept hitting the snooze bar cause I was so tired from last night, Samantha didn't help much with her jumping on the bed and standing on my chest, looking at me, trying to get me up. I finally rolled (really and truely rolled) out of bed and tried to wake up so that I could get ready for work.
Before going in, I really wanted to eat some shrimp from a Vietnamese restaurant I know of in downtown Minneapolis, so I went out of my way to stop off there before actually reaching work. I ended up getting 2 orders of butterfly shirmp with the orange sauce, fried potstickers and an order of Vietnamese summer rolls. For those of you not familiar with the difference, Vietnamese spring rolls are deep fried, like egg rolls and summer rolls are "raw", basically they are made to order and are very fresh and healthy.
Anyway after getting into work, it wasn't so bad, but the thing is they want to open a "ticket" for every single call that we take and also open a "ticket" for tickets that we open. I really was getting frustrated and irritated to the point I just felt like I wanted to pound on something. The thing is, we open a ticket to a group that supports whatever trouble we're reporting and they don't want to deal with it, but when it comes to access, they don't want to give it up, so why have the users call us to open a ticket and no one is able to support it in the first place.
I really don't understand why these people think this way, if they give us the access and we do the support, then they don't have to deal with it or worry about having to be responsible. However when something goes wrong, our department is the first to get blamed because they can't offer the support that it should get.
I'm about ready to open a ticket for every little thing that I or anyone else does... i.e. going to the restroom, going to lunch, talking to my co-workers, getting coffee... The supervisor states that our phone call statistics are poor, but the thing is we're wasting our time opening tickets for tickets for tickets. They have also stated that we don't open enough tickets, but we get so backed up on calls, so what are their true intentions?
Anyway, enough of that, I hope that my neigbor who asked me out to go dancing and drinking is planning on going tonight, I think I could use a distraction as such.
Well, till next time, stay well and stay safe.
Friday, April 22, 2005
The day that never was...
Mood: a-ok
Today I was considering on upgrading my motherboard and CPU so that I could install more hard drives for digital recording and video editing, but also I've considered the negative side of that. For one, I don't know if I can add more cards into my system, I believe that I already have my IRQ's max'd out.
The other downside is that to install a RAID controller, I would have to have more drives... either way, it's going to cost more money, my next priority for this computer is to get a new DVD +R/RW so that I can burn my music and videos to disks again. I've considered installing a removable drive option, but it'll only work for the hard drive and not the DVD drive.
I really should save money first, then when I have a back up of funds, consider upgrading my computer again. The other thing I was thinking of was getting a really good digital camera and really go into my hobby of photography, I've seen so many things that would have made great pictures, but didn't have a really good camera to take them with.
I suppose... I'll keep this entry short and write again tomorrow... till next time, stay safe, stay well.
Today I was considering on upgrading my motherboard and CPU so that I could install more hard drives for digital recording and video editing, but also I've considered the negative side of that. For one, I don't know if I can add more cards into my system, I believe that I already have my IRQ's max'd out.
The other downside is that to install a RAID controller, I would have to have more drives... either way, it's going to cost more money, my next priority for this computer is to get a new DVD +R/RW so that I can burn my music and videos to disks again. I've considered installing a removable drive option, but it'll only work for the hard drive and not the DVD drive.
I really should save money first, then when I have a back up of funds, consider upgrading my computer again. The other thing I was thinking of was getting a really good digital camera and really go into my hobby of photography, I've seen so many things that would have made great pictures, but didn't have a really good camera to take them with.
I suppose... I'll keep this entry short and write again tomorrow... till next time, stay safe, stay well.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
A day in the life of...
Mood: a-ok
Today I got a sofa and 2 book shelves. It appears that Samantha, my cat, really likes the sofa. She's been all over it and has been sleeping on it since this evening. I do have to admit, it is a lot more comfortable than the bean bag that I've been using, not to mention a lot higher off the ground. Anyway, I think I mentioned that my former Aunt was moving and was about to just get rid of the sofa, which is in really good condition, so I asked if I could have it.
She was almost not able to get something to move it to my apartment until Sunday, but was able to get a trailer today and we were able to get it here this afternoon. Well, I spent about an hour setting it up so that it was just in the right spot... well, not an hour, but about 15 minutes. The rest of the day, I spent cleaning up the apartment and doing laundry.
After all that, I've been playing bejeweled 2 deluxe and been pretty hooked on it, I'm still debating on either getting it or just stick with the demo version which allows you to play for about an hour... After all that, now that I have my digital recording software re-installed, I've been making my own ringtones. There are a lot of them out there, but when it comes to having a particular ringtone, it doesn't seem to have it.
Oh, yeah, as for that box that I had forgotten at the house, there were some books that I had thought I had lost, but it turns out that they were in that last box, the only thing that I still can't find, is my book of recipes that I had collected from the restaurants that I've worked for. I had some really good recipes for sauces that I guess I'll just have to try to recreate from memory... oh well, what can you do?
I guess that's it for now, till next time kiddies...stay safe, stay well.
Today I got a sofa and 2 book shelves. It appears that Samantha, my cat, really likes the sofa. She's been all over it and has been sleeping on it since this evening. I do have to admit, it is a lot more comfortable than the bean bag that I've been using, not to mention a lot higher off the ground. Anyway, I think I mentioned that my former Aunt was moving and was about to just get rid of the sofa, which is in really good condition, so I asked if I could have it.
She was almost not able to get something to move it to my apartment until Sunday, but was able to get a trailer today and we were able to get it here this afternoon. Well, I spent about an hour setting it up so that it was just in the right spot... well, not an hour, but about 15 minutes. The rest of the day, I spent cleaning up the apartment and doing laundry.
After all that, I've been playing bejeweled 2 deluxe and been pretty hooked on it, I'm still debating on either getting it or just stick with the demo version which allows you to play for about an hour... After all that, now that I have my digital recording software re-installed, I've been making my own ringtones. There are a lot of them out there, but when it comes to having a particular ringtone, it doesn't seem to have it.
Oh, yeah, as for that box that I had forgotten at the house, there were some books that I had thought I had lost, but it turns out that they were in that last box, the only thing that I still can't find, is my book of recipes that I had collected from the restaurants that I've worked for. I had some really good recipes for sauces that I guess I'll just have to try to recreate from memory... oh well, what can you do?
I guess that's it for now, till next time kiddies...stay safe, stay well.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Welcome back kiddies...
Mood: not sure
Well, I know it's been almost a week since I last made an entry here, but there a perfectly good reason, I finally got 2 new hard drives for my computer and was having a difficult time after they were installed. I had purchased 2 - 200 gig hard drives to replace the my 2 old drives, one was a 40 gig hard drive that I had filled 32 gigs of data and the other was an 80 gig hard drive that was failing. The failing hard drive I had pulled the power plug so that I could save the drive and pull the data off of it later, however, that plan didn't work out.
Well, the first drive, after I got it installed, was the main problem, I attempted to ghost the drive so that I wouldn't have to re-install everything, well, at first I ran into a problem trying to mirror the drive and should've've ran check disk on it first before making an attempt to copy. Well, after I tried using the Western Digital software, I thought that everything was working without any problems, but then after I tried to access my email and some other programs, it became obvious that it didn't do what I had thought it was suppose to do.
Well, before I made the 5th attempt at copying the drive, I had tried to copy the contents of the 80 gig drive over to the new drive which I had partitioned into 2 drives, however after about 20 gigs, the drive stopped working and I couldn't get anything else off. At that point I was so frustrated that I ended up opening up the 80 gig drive.
Anyway, after that failed attempt, I tried to copy the 40 gig drive again after running check disk and was able to copy the entire contents over, however I ended up moving the partition and losing the rest of the data. So after about 0400 this morning, I was able to get all the data off of the 40 gig hard drive and get my computer running the way it used to (except faster) and started re-installing the other programs that were installed on the broken hard drive. Any other data and files that were on the other drive are lost, but no big deal cause any truly important data that I needed to save have already been backed up and I still have that data.
So the moral of this story is, make sure you back up the really truly data just in case of a drive failure.
Other than that excitement, there really wasn't much going on these past few days that I haven't been able to enter anything into my journal, last night, I did get invited out by a neighbor to go out dancing and drinking, she asked me last month but things got mixed up and we ended up not getting together. We did finally end up trading each others phone numbers so that we could get in touch with each other for this weekend.
My former Aunt (my uncle got divorced 2 years ago) called to let me know that I still had a box of things still at the house which she is selling, so I went over to pick it up. While I was there, she had a couch that was in a pretty good condition that I'll be getting from her as well as some book shelves. I could've have them brought over tomorrow sometime in the afternoon. It would be so much better than the bean bag that I have and I'm sure I'll find myself waking up on the couch after falling asleep watching T.V.
Now I just have to save up some money to get a bed that I was looking at, its a really nice one and I think when I went to go look at it at the furniture store, the sales person said that it was about $300 something. It would be a lot better than using the inflatable raised bed and not have to worry about keeping it inflated.
Well, I guess thats it for this entry, tune in again the next time and see what goes on in my life. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Well, I know it's been almost a week since I last made an entry here, but there a perfectly good reason, I finally got 2 new hard drives for my computer and was having a difficult time after they were installed. I had purchased 2 - 200 gig hard drives to replace the my 2 old drives, one was a 40 gig hard drive that I had filled 32 gigs of data and the other was an 80 gig hard drive that was failing. The failing hard drive I had pulled the power plug so that I could save the drive and pull the data off of it later, however, that plan didn't work out.
Well, the first drive, after I got it installed, was the main problem, I attempted to ghost the drive so that I wouldn't have to re-install everything, well, at first I ran into a problem trying to mirror the drive and should've've ran check disk on it first before making an attempt to copy. Well, after I tried using the Western Digital software, I thought that everything was working without any problems, but then after I tried to access my email and some other programs, it became obvious that it didn't do what I had thought it was suppose to do.
Well, before I made the 5th attempt at copying the drive, I had tried to copy the contents of the 80 gig drive over to the new drive which I had partitioned into 2 drives, however after about 20 gigs, the drive stopped working and I couldn't get anything else off. At that point I was so frustrated that I ended up opening up the 80 gig drive.
Anyway, after that failed attempt, I tried to copy the 40 gig drive again after running check disk and was able to copy the entire contents over, however I ended up moving the partition and losing the rest of the data. So after about 0400 this morning, I was able to get all the data off of the 40 gig hard drive and get my computer running the way it used to (except faster) and started re-installing the other programs that were installed on the broken hard drive. Any other data and files that were on the other drive are lost, but no big deal cause any truly important data that I needed to save have already been backed up and I still have that data.
So the moral of this story is, make sure you back up the really truly data just in case of a drive failure.
Other than that excitement, there really wasn't much going on these past few days that I haven't been able to enter anything into my journal, last night, I did get invited out by a neighbor to go out dancing and drinking, she asked me last month but things got mixed up and we ended up not getting together. We did finally end up trading each others phone numbers so that we could get in touch with each other for this weekend.
My former Aunt (my uncle got divorced 2 years ago) called to let me know that I still had a box of things still at the house which she is selling, so I went over to pick it up. While I was there, she had a couch that was in a pretty good condition that I'll be getting from her as well as some book shelves. I could've have them brought over tomorrow sometime in the afternoon. It would be so much better than the bean bag that I have and I'm sure I'll find myself waking up on the couch after falling asleep watching T.V.
Now I just have to save up some money to get a bed that I was looking at, its a really nice one and I think when I went to go look at it at the furniture store, the sales person said that it was about $300 something. It would be a lot better than using the inflatable raised bed and not have to worry about keeping it inflated.
Well, I guess thats it for this entry, tune in again the next time and see what goes on in my life. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
It was a grey and dreary day...
Mood: not sure
Well, the meeting with the Inspector and the Chief went well, it was mostly about the captain and my complaints against her. It seems that there are other officers that are having a problem with her and the way she handles things. I do have to say that it was a very productive meeting.
After the meeting, I rushed over to my favorite computer parts store and picked up 2 - 200 gig drives, I thought I had asked for Maxtor drives but after getting to work, I found that the clerk had sold me 2 Western Digital 200 gig drives. No big deal and not a problem. The Western Digital drives have an 8 meg buffer, so it wasn't too bad, besides they were the same price.
After getting home, I'll be installing them, I just hope that there won't be a problem imaging my 40 gig drive to my new 200 gig drive. I'll find out after I attempt to install the drive and partition the primary 200 gig drive into an 80 gig and 120 gig partition. Wish me luck...
Till then, stay safe and stay well...
Well, the meeting with the Inspector and the Chief went well, it was mostly about the captain and my complaints against her. It seems that there are other officers that are having a problem with her and the way she handles things. I do have to say that it was a very productive meeting.
After the meeting, I rushed over to my favorite computer parts store and picked up 2 - 200 gig drives, I thought I had asked for Maxtor drives but after getting to work, I found that the clerk had sold me 2 Western Digital 200 gig drives. No big deal and not a problem. The Western Digital drives have an 8 meg buffer, so it wasn't too bad, besides they were the same price.
After getting home, I'll be installing them, I just hope that there won't be a problem imaging my 40 gig drive to my new 200 gig drive. I'll find out after I attempt to install the drive and partition the primary 200 gig drive into an 80 gig and 120 gig partition. Wish me luck...
Till then, stay safe and stay well...
Friday, April 15, 2005
The lost or forgotten
Mood: not sure
Well, back to work. I got a call from the Inspector today asking me to come in and meet with the chief. I'm not sure what to think or what to expect. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I meet with them.
Very short entry today, stay safe, stay well...
Well, back to work. I got a call from the Inspector today asking me to come in and meet with the chief. I'm not sure what to think or what to expect. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I meet with them.
Very short entry today, stay safe, stay well...
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Treating people like they were beneath themselves...
Mood: irritated
Well, today was a little more productive than yesterday, I finally decided to breakout of my self proclaimed isolation from the rest of the world and went out to pick up some lunch at McDo****s, it has been a while and I decided to treat myself (if you call that a treat... if you know what I mean) anyway, I was also out of my one and only vice, cigarettes.
Anyway, tonight we had a defensive tactics / handcuffing class for the department and I wasn't looking forward to going because I don't like the Captain who is almost always there. She treats everyone as if they were beneath her. Anyway, I ended up going to the training and of course, she was there, so I didn't say anything to her and just about smoked about half my pack while I was there waiting for the rest of the recruits and officers to show up.
Well, after about half an hour another officer showed up and while she was talking with him, she said out loud to that officer "I'm sure [my name] will move from the desk so that you can get your paperwork done". One of my major pet peeves is don't talk about me as if I'm not there, if you got something to say, say it or ask me, to my face. I got pretty upset at that point and picked up my book and threw it so it would slam onto the table.
Well, the captain, now acting like a wounded duck decided to "tell" the inspector (like a little kid) that I had made a fuss, well, the inspector called me out and talked with me outside and I told him, that she (the captain) can go f**k herself, I also told him that the reason that I haven't been around lately was mostly because of her and that what she was doing was creating a hostile environment which would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit.
I also told the inspector that I had mentioned it to my direct superior of my intentions and by his request not to. So at his request, I decided not to and wait. I also expressed my concerns about the Lt. and his lack of backbone to deal with the issues that I had brought up and re-informed him of the chain of command. However he still didn't want to deal with the issues. I had also brought up the issue with a officer that was under my command and what the Captain had told her, it seems that the inspector was more than willing to deal with the issues that I brought up than both my superiors.
Well, anyway, after the training class, I didn't stick around after, as soon as I could, I left and came home. Well, I guess that's it for now, I'll write more again tomorrow. Till then, stay safe and stay well.
Well, today was a little more productive than yesterday, I finally decided to breakout of my self proclaimed isolation from the rest of the world and went out to pick up some lunch at McDo****s, it has been a while and I decided to treat myself (if you call that a treat... if you know what I mean) anyway, I was also out of my one and only vice, cigarettes.Anyway, tonight we had a defensive tactics / handcuffing class for the department and I wasn't looking forward to going because I don't like the Captain who is almost always there. She treats everyone as if they were beneath her. Anyway, I ended up going to the training and of course, she was there, so I didn't say anything to her and just about smoked about half my pack while I was there waiting for the rest of the recruits and officers to show up.
Well, after about half an hour another officer showed up and while she was talking with him, she said out loud to that officer "I'm sure [my name] will move from the desk so that you can get your paperwork done". One of my major pet peeves is don't talk about me as if I'm not there, if you got something to say, say it or ask me, to my face. I got pretty upset at that point and picked up my book and threw it so it would slam onto the table.
Well, the captain, now acting like a wounded duck decided to "tell" the inspector (like a little kid) that I had made a fuss, well, the inspector called me out and talked with me outside and I told him, that she (the captain) can go f**k herself, I also told him that the reason that I haven't been around lately was mostly because of her and that what she was doing was creating a hostile environment which would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit.
I also told the inspector that I had mentioned it to my direct superior of my intentions and by his request not to. So at his request, I decided not to and wait. I also expressed my concerns about the Lt. and his lack of backbone to deal with the issues that I had brought up and re-informed him of the chain of command. However he still didn't want to deal with the issues. I had also brought up the issue with a officer that was under my command and what the Captain had told her, it seems that the inspector was more than willing to deal with the issues that I brought up than both my superiors.
Well, anyway, after the training class, I didn't stick around after, as soon as I could, I left and came home. Well, I guess that's it for now, I'll write more again tomorrow. Till then, stay safe and stay well.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Other Journals
Mood: not sure
I've been reading another person's journal titled "Pregnant & stressed out!". I'm concerned for that person and feel what she's feeling, no, not because I'm pregnant, I can't get pregnant because i'm a male. Carmen, who is the author of that journal, is going through some very difficult times, her "boyfriend" seems like a real jerk that doesn't deserve to have children and really doesn't really deserve Carmen.
Also, her mother seems to have some serious issues in her past that Carmen's mother decided to take the easy way out and drink her problems away and now doesn't care about her daughter and the child that Carmen is carrying within her. It makes me upset that there are people like that still. I hope that Carmen reads the response to one of her entries that I had left.
If it were me, I would have taken responsibility for my actions. I guess when children are involved, I really want the best that I can give to the best of my abilities. I guess I would have to say that I come from a divorced family but also I was also brought up to believe that family is the most important thing you have in life. The funny thing is, is that I'm also divorced, but that was back in 1990, I was only married for a little over a year. The thing is, I don't want to be like my father, a drug addict loser.
Well, anyway, on with my day... I got called by the dating agency to say that my dinner date had to cancel. That is the 3rd time that this has happened, it seems like those matches who had the potential of being someone that I would be interested in and may be a really good match, seem to not even get a chance to meet. I don't have any luck with women on my own and it seems to be the same with the dating agency.
So, with that said, since I didn't have to go out, I ended up cleaning up the bathroom and cooking sloppy joe's from scratch and adding more money to my checking account... YES... another boring day.
Well, till tomorrow, stay well and stay safe.
I've been reading another person's journal titled "Pregnant & stressed out!". I'm concerned for that person and feel what she's feeling, no, not because I'm pregnant, I can't get pregnant because i'm a male. Carmen, who is the author of that journal, is going through some very difficult times, her "boyfriend" seems like a real jerk that doesn't deserve to have children and really doesn't really deserve Carmen.
Also, her mother seems to have some serious issues in her past that Carmen's mother decided to take the easy way out and drink her problems away and now doesn't care about her daughter and the child that Carmen is carrying within her. It makes me upset that there are people like that still. I hope that Carmen reads the response to one of her entries that I had left.
If it were me, I would have taken responsibility for my actions. I guess when children are involved, I really want the best that I can give to the best of my abilities. I guess I would have to say that I come from a divorced family but also I was also brought up to believe that family is the most important thing you have in life. The funny thing is, is that I'm also divorced, but that was back in 1990, I was only married for a little over a year. The thing is, I don't want to be like my father, a drug addict loser.
Well, anyway, on with my day... I got called by the dating agency to say that my dinner date had to cancel. That is the 3rd time that this has happened, it seems like those matches who had the potential of being someone that I would be interested in and may be a really good match, seem to not even get a chance to meet. I don't have any luck with women on my own and it seems to be the same with the dating agency.
So, with that said, since I didn't have to go out, I ended up cleaning up the bathroom and cooking sloppy joe's from scratch and adding more money to my checking account... YES... another boring day.
Well, till tomorrow, stay well and stay safe.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Tomorrow's another day
Mood: a-ok
Well, tomorrow I have a dinner date with someone that I was setup with through a dating agency, I'll find out how she is at some restaurant in St. Louis Park, MN. The restaurant is a Brazillian type cusine, which should be interesting. Although I've been wanting to get some Sombusa, a Somalian version of the empanada (sp?). The sombusa has spiced beef or some type of meat in the center of a egg roll type wrapper.
Anyway, my "vacation" has been going good, relaxing and spending time alone so that I don't have to deal with people, but the thing is, the stupid people that live around the apartment complex. I'm getting tired of having to put up with the stupid people that don't care about others except for themselves. I suppose when you first move out, the first thing you usually do is party without caring about the other people around you.
I'm hoping on picking up a really good paintball gun and thinking about sniping some of these idiots, just to put the fear of a supreme being into their limited thinking, drug induced minds. I know that there are more than likely a couple of places that the occupants are selling drugs. I just wished that I had the ability and authority to do something about it.
I suppose that I could, but then again, taking matters into my own hands could have a negative effect instead of the positive effect that I would like to see happen. I do have to admit, I am no longer in shape to do the things that I have done in the past that could bring about those changes, but then again, that could change.
Well, I guess that's it for this entry, another short one, but at least there will be more to come. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Well, tomorrow I have a dinner date with someone that I was setup with through a dating agency, I'll find out how she is at some restaurant in St. Louis Park, MN. The restaurant is a Brazillian type cusine, which should be interesting. Although I've been wanting to get some Sombusa, a Somalian version of the empanada (sp?). The sombusa has spiced beef or some type of meat in the center of a egg roll type wrapper.
Anyway, my "vacation" has been going good, relaxing and spending time alone so that I don't have to deal with people, but the thing is, the stupid people that live around the apartment complex. I'm getting tired of having to put up with the stupid people that don't care about others except for themselves. I suppose when you first move out, the first thing you usually do is party without caring about the other people around you.
I'm hoping on picking up a really good paintball gun and thinking about sniping some of these idiots, just to put the fear of a supreme being into their limited thinking, drug induced minds. I know that there are more than likely a couple of places that the occupants are selling drugs. I just wished that I had the ability and authority to do something about it.
I suppose that I could, but then again, taking matters into my own hands could have a negative effect instead of the positive effect that I would like to see happen. I do have to admit, I am no longer in shape to do the things that I have done in the past that could bring about those changes, but then again, that could change.
Well, I guess that's it for this entry, another short one, but at least there will be more to come. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down...
Mood: blue
Today was the first day of my 4 days off from work which I felt that I was approaching a burn out. I could tell because it seemed that I was always angry with the people calling in, not to mention I was getting close to telling a couple of people off at work. Well, the other thing is, I just did a check of my blood pressure and found that my BP is 124 over 64, which is on the high side. It is a lot better than earlier.
I'm sure that while I was at work, it would've been much higher. So I need to really work at losing weight and stop smoking. I suppose that it's these next 3 days that I have to make the most of and keep my BP down.
I did go grocery shopping today, I picked up a couple of steaks. It seems every once in a while I just have the need to have a good steak so I picked up a Filet and a New York Strip. I also picked up some stew meat for Japanese curry and hamburger for some sloppy joes later. Sometimes I make enough curry to put into portions and freeze them for either or both dinner and lunch. For some reason, I've been wanting to eat sloppy joes and not the type that you use a can mix and hamburger, but the kind of sloppy joes that takes time to make (in a way), at least the kind I used to make at the restaurant.
This morning I was suprised with a call from Russia, one of the women that I have been emailing back and forth actually called me. I was so suprised that I didn't know what to say and right now I am at a loss for words to write back to her. All I can do for now is hope that one of them is the person that I've been looking for, my soul mate.
I suppose that is why I've been holding out, not sure of the person that I'm with, I just don't want to be used or lied to. I want someone that I can trust and love, someone to share my deepest secrets, someone to love. Well, I guess that's it for now, more later. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Today was the first day of my 4 days off from work which I felt that I was approaching a burn out. I could tell because it seemed that I was always angry with the people calling in, not to mention I was getting close to telling a couple of people off at work. Well, the other thing is, I just did a check of my blood pressure and found that my BP is 124 over 64, which is on the high side. It is a lot better than earlier.
I'm sure that while I was at work, it would've been much higher. So I need to really work at losing weight and stop smoking. I suppose that it's these next 3 days that I have to make the most of and keep my BP down.
I did go grocery shopping today, I picked up a couple of steaks. It seems every once in a while I just have the need to have a good steak so I picked up a Filet and a New York Strip. I also picked up some stew meat for Japanese curry and hamburger for some sloppy joes later. Sometimes I make enough curry to put into portions and freeze them for either or both dinner and lunch. For some reason, I've been wanting to eat sloppy joes and not the type that you use a can mix and hamburger, but the kind of sloppy joes that takes time to make (in a way), at least the kind I used to make at the restaurant.
This morning I was suprised with a call from Russia, one of the women that I have been emailing back and forth actually called me. I was so suprised that I didn't know what to say and right now I am at a loss for words to write back to her. All I can do for now is hope that one of them is the person that I've been looking for, my soul mate.
I suppose that is why I've been holding out, not sure of the person that I'm with, I just don't want to be used or lied to. I want someone that I can trust and love, someone to share my deepest secrets, someone to love. Well, I guess that's it for now, more later. Till then, stay well and stay safe.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
A quiet day
Mood: a-ok
The day was pretty quiet. I was planning on going to a movie after I got done with work. I tried to purchase tickets online, at the Fandango website, but it was taking a lot longer than it should have so I cancelled the transaction.
I double checked to make sure that it didn't get charged to my card and it didn't. So on my way to my friends house, I stopped off at the back to take out some money.
My friend and I went to go and see Sin City. sin City was a dark fantasy movie based on a animated novel by Frank Miller. It was pretty good, basically it was like a live action movie of a comic book. I do have to say though, if you had gotten up to get a refill, snack or bathroom break, you would've been confused for the rest of the movie.
Well, that was pretty much it, stay well and stay safe.
The day was pretty quiet. I was planning on going to a movie after I got done with work. I tried to purchase tickets online, at the Fandango website, but it was taking a lot longer than it should have so I cancelled the transaction.
I double checked to make sure that it didn't get charged to my card and it didn't. So on my way to my friends house, I stopped off at the back to take out some money.
My friend and I went to go and see Sin City. sin City was a dark fantasy movie based on a animated novel by Frank Miller. It was pretty good, basically it was like a live action movie of a comic book. I do have to say though, if you had gotten up to get a refill, snack or bathroom break, you would've been confused for the rest of the movie.
Well, that was pretty much it, stay well and stay safe.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
[Enter title here]
Mood: not sure
Last night, I didn't get much sleep, there was a truck that kept going through the parking lot at the apartments, finally after about the 3rd time he drove through and playing his music really loud, I called the police, but by the time they drove through, he had already left. By the time I was finally able to fall asleep, it was about 0230 (the last time I looked at the clock). OK, so I had my alarm set for 1015 to wake up and get ready for work, but noooooo... some moron decided that at 0630 they were going to honk their horn to get the attention of the person they wanted to visit, so at that point, I decided to stay up until I had to get ready for work.
Well, while watching some TV after checking my e-mails, I ended up falling asleep in front of the TV, good thing I woke up on my own about an hour and a half later, at 1000, before my alarm went off, other wise I wouldn't have waken up in time for work. I just have one, half day of work to go, then I'll be off until Friday, so 4 days off of doing nothing. Maybe not of doing nothing, but at least I'll be able to relax from work and not get burnt out.
I'll be taking up this issue with the rental office, with the new people moving in, it's getting ridicules with all these young punks moving in (Man, do I sound like a grumpy old man). It seems that there are a lot of other residents that are getting fed up with all this as well and are moving out. At last count, there were at least 7 empty apartments out of 28. One of my neighbors had mentioned and complained about the something as I was and she plans to move out as soon as her lease expires.
I just hope that when I get home tonight, I won't have to deal with these idiots.
On the positive side (depending on how you look at it), on my way home last night, I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to stop off at White Castle, now to those of you that are deprived of such a fine establishment in your location, White Castle, when I first moved up to Minnesota, was introduced to me by my cousins. Now White Castle offers hamburgers, cheeseburger, bacon cheese burgers and such... the hamburgers are not fried like your usual restaurants, or flame broiled, but steamed. Oh, I can hear you all the way here saying "Oh Yuck!", but actually, it's OK and it's really fantastic if you've done some really hard partying before going there.
Then again, I have no problem with eating MRE's or C Rations (I'll save that explanation for another time), anyway, if anything else, it's the french fries, the french fries are not steamed, but are actually deep fried. Also White Castle is usually open 24 hours a day, so especially for you party till the last minute people, it's the only decently priced place you can get something to eat before you go home and fall flat on your face...
The day was really nice, there was a wind blowing which made for a cool day, lots of people walking about in shorts or tee shirts and especially the women that were out shopping, it really made for a nice day. Well, I really should get out more with the nice spring weather that we're having here in Minnesota, I think that on my days off, I'll go out walking with my camera and get some pictures.
Well, anyway, that's it for now, I'll write again tomorrow. Till then, stay safe and stay well...
Last night, I didn't get much sleep, there was a truck that kept going through the parking lot at the apartments, finally after about the 3rd time he drove through and playing his music really loud, I called the police, but by the time they drove through, he had already left. By the time I was finally able to fall asleep, it was about 0230 (the last time I looked at the clock). OK, so I had my alarm set for 1015 to wake up and get ready for work, but noooooo... some moron decided that at 0630 they were going to honk their horn to get the attention of the person they wanted to visit, so at that point, I decided to stay up until I had to get ready for work.
Well, while watching some TV after checking my e-mails, I ended up falling asleep in front of the TV, good thing I woke up on my own about an hour and a half later, at 1000, before my alarm went off, other wise I wouldn't have waken up in time for work. I just have one, half day of work to go, then I'll be off until Friday, so 4 days off of doing nothing. Maybe not of doing nothing, but at least I'll be able to relax from work and not get burnt out.
I'll be taking up this issue with the rental office, with the new people moving in, it's getting ridicules with all these young punks moving in (Man, do I sound like a grumpy old man). It seems that there are a lot of other residents that are getting fed up with all this as well and are moving out. At last count, there were at least 7 empty apartments out of 28. One of my neighbors had mentioned and complained about the something as I was and she plans to move out as soon as her lease expires.
I just hope that when I get home tonight, I won't have to deal with these idiots.
On the positive side (depending on how you look at it), on my way home last night, I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to stop off at White Castle, now to those of you that are deprived of such a fine establishment in your location, White Castle, when I first moved up to Minnesota, was introduced to me by my cousins. Now White Castle offers hamburgers, cheeseburger, bacon cheese burgers and such... the hamburgers are not fried like your usual restaurants, or flame broiled, but steamed. Oh, I can hear you all the way here saying "Oh Yuck!", but actually, it's OK and it's really fantastic if you've done some really hard partying before going there.
Then again, I have no problem with eating MRE's or C Rations (I'll save that explanation for another time), anyway, if anything else, it's the french fries, the french fries are not steamed, but are actually deep fried. Also White Castle is usually open 24 hours a day, so especially for you party till the last minute people, it's the only decently priced place you can get something to eat before you go home and fall flat on your face...
The day was really nice, there was a wind blowing which made for a cool day, lots of people walking about in shorts or tee shirts and especially the women that were out shopping, it really made for a nice day. Well, I really should get out more with the nice spring weather that we're having here in Minnesota, I think that on my days off, I'll go out walking with my camera and get some pictures.
Well, anyway, that's it for now, I'll write again tomorrow. Till then, stay safe and stay well...
Friday, April 08, 2005
A Day Late, a dollar short
Mood: a-ok
I know that this entry is late, so there will be 2 entries tonight. The day went pretty smoothly, got my license plate to the point where you can see it without having to practically crawl under the car.
I was suprised when I went to take out money from my bank, apparently a person who used the ATM before me forgot to take their receipt and I didn't notice. After my transaction, I picked up the receipt and saw that only half of what I requested was on the receipt, then I noticed another receipt shoot out of the ATM, which had the right amount, but not the correct balance, so I threw the previous receipt away and kept mine. I thought it was strange so after starting my shift, I decided to call my bank and find out if there was anything deposited.
Per the bank clerk, there was a deposit from the state of Minnesota, apparently, my State Tax refund was already deposited on the 6th and I didn't realize it, besides that was really quick since I e-filed my taxes on the 3rd. Anyway, I should be getting my federal on the 15th...
I guess this will be a short one, since there wasn't much going on during the day, I'll have a lot more for the next day.
Stay safe, stay well.
I know that this entry is late, so there will be 2 entries tonight. The day went pretty smoothly, got my license plate to the point where you can see it without having to practically crawl under the car.
I was suprised when I went to take out money from my bank, apparently a person who used the ATM before me forgot to take their receipt and I didn't notice. After my transaction, I picked up the receipt and saw that only half of what I requested was on the receipt, then I noticed another receipt shoot out of the ATM, which had the right amount, but not the correct balance, so I threw the previous receipt away and kept mine. I thought it was strange so after starting my shift, I decided to call my bank and find out if there was anything deposited.
Per the bank clerk, there was a deposit from the state of Minnesota, apparently, my State Tax refund was already deposited on the 6th and I didn't realize it, besides that was really quick since I e-filed my taxes on the 3rd. Anyway, I should be getting my federal on the 15th...
I guess this will be a short one, since there wasn't much going on during the day, I'll have a lot more for the next day.
Stay safe, stay well.
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